Like We Never Loved At All
by ChapterHappy
Summary: Michael realizes that Amanda is cheating on him with Fabian. That was what she wanted wasn't it? To cause him the same pain he had caused her? He doesn't react like she expected though and leaves her unsure of what she wanted anymore.
1. Chapter 1

_Alright...I'm going to start off by being completely honest. I have no idea what I'm doing. haha This is only the second story I have written, or in this case, started writing. The other one I haven't uploaded yet. I, obviously, have been playing GTA 5 and for the last month have been coming on here reading stories that were based on Michael & Amanda. I was surprised that they were actually somewhat hard to find! The majority of the stories I've found on here seem to write Michael/Trevor slash, which I can't get into at all. Maybe because I never got that vibe from Michael on the game, I don't know. There's very few that focus on Michael and Amanda as a couple and explore their relationship or different scenarios that happened in the game. The ones that ARE on here are AMAZING and I've read them multiple times over. SO...in the last two days I have been very bored and just sat down at my computer and started to write. I have never written anything before, other than songs or poetry here or there. So I will just apologize in advance if this is terrible. I will tell you right away that my stories might seem out of character because I'm not comfortable writing the language that GTA generally utilizes and I try to show a different side to Michael and Amanda. After finishing the game and seeing the way the two interact after they decide to try to make it work, well, they seem much sweeter with each other then. hahaI know I suck at conversational type writing so a lot of what I have written is based on what is going through the character's mind at the moment. I have no idea if I'll write any other stories than the two I've already finished/begun but I decided to upload the start of this one. I'm not asking you to lie and say it's good, but don't make me cry. haha I'm not even sure where I'm going with this one after this first part but we'll see. Ok...now that I have warned you all that this might be terrible...feel free to continue reading if you wish. :)_

Amanda tried to hide her smile as Fabian came up behind her to demonstrate the final move. She mentally prepared a countdown to when Michael would explode. It should be any time now. She risked glancing up at him and was surprised that he hadn't moved from his mat. She watched as the realization dawned across his face that she had been sleeping with Fabian too. He had went off the deep end with her tennis instructor so she had been anticipating the same type of reaction this time.

She watched with amusement as his face turned into one of fury and jumped out of the way when he lunged towards Fabian.

"No, stop!" she yelled halfheartedly.

She was surprised when Michael froze. He was holding Fabian's neck in one hand and had his other in a fist that was drawn back to punch him. Instead he just stood there, frozen in that position, for what felt like several minutes.

"Michael?" she said his name cautiously.

He was silent and completely still. This wasn't what she had been expecting from him. What she saw on his face scared her more than the screaming of profanities and the threats to kill her lovers. What she saw was defeat as he put his head down. He gave Fabian a slight shove that resulted in the man landing in the pool behind him with a splash.

"Alright...you win" he said softly.

"Excuse me?"

"You win Amanda...I'm done. I can't do this anymore."

"Do what anymore? Yoga?" she feigned confusion as fear rooted itself deep in her stomach.

"This. Us. Whatever this is. You want Fabian, you can have him. I'm not going to fight you any more. But you can't have us both Amanda. I'm not going to stand here and continue to look like the fool while you're screwing him." he sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Amanda was so shocked that she just stood there in silence, her mouth hanging open.

"Why act so surprised?" he smiled sadly, "this is what you wanted isn't it? Well...you want him...you've got him. I'll grab a hotel for a couple of days while you get your things together."

He turned to walk slowly back into the house and disappeared behind the glass doors.

"Fantastic baby, this is everything we were hoping for and my life wasn't even in danger like you had warned. Well...I did fear for it for a few moments..." Fabian's voice trailed off as he massaged her shoulders.

She shook him off, still too stunned to put together a coherant thought, let alone sentence.

"Amanda? What is wrong? Isn't this what you wanted? Now we can move in together and not hide our love any longer" Fabian furrowed his brow in confusion.

"I...I...I can't talk right now Fabian. I think it would be best if you leave. I'll call you later" Amanda stuttered.

He sighed and leaned in to kiss her but she turned her head slightly, allowing him only her cheek.

"I will talk to you later then?" he asked as he made his way towards the steps.

She absentmindedly nodded, still thinking about Michael and what he had said.

She made her way over to the poolside chairs and sat down.

This WAS what she wanted wasn't it? How many times had she told Fabian that she didn't love Michael anymore? That he didn't even seem to notice her or appreciate her anymore. It didn't matter if she cut her hair or wore a skimpy new dress...nothing seemed to hold his attention or draw his affection. In fact, the only ounce of emotion she had gotten from him in the last few years had been those moments when he realized she was having an affair.

It had been satisfying to see him fly off the handle when he had found her tennis coach in their bed with her. She supposed that sounded sick and disturbing but it had been satisfying because she finally had felt like he cared. He wanted to kill someone over her...that meant he loved her right?

She buried her head in her hands as she felt hot tears forming in her eyes and trickling down her cheeks.

The Michael that she had seen a few moments ago scared her. It wasn't like him to stay calm like that. It wasn't like him to give up and walk away. It was completely out of character for him in fact.

She didn't understand her own emotions. She had convinced herself that she hated Michael for what he had done to her and to their family. Why couldn't he have just kept it in his pants? Why did he have to cheat on her? They had been happy for so many years, or so she thought. It was his fault that she had cheated with the tennis instructor and now Fabian. Why did he have to be so arrogant and act like he had done nothing wrong?

She heard tires screech as a car left the driveway in a hurry. She didn't need to walk over to the steps to know it was him leaving.

She suddenly felt so tired. Was this really what her life had become? A desperate parade of affairs to make her husband notice her? To make him remember that he loved her?

She let out a bitter, humorless laugh. Well she had sure succeeded there hadn't she? Oh the irony. She had convinced herself that she hated him while she was trying to make him jealous, relishing in the results when he fought for her. Then realizing how much she still loved him when he finally gave up and told her it was over.

She didn't hear the footsteps approaching until she saw the petite feet appear in her line of vision. She looked up into the face of her daughter watching her with concerned eyes.

"Mom? What's going on? Dad just left in a hurry and wouldn't tell me anything but I've never seen him look like that before. He looked..." her voice trailed off.

"Like what honey?" Amanda replied wearily, "happy? relieved? like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders?" Her voice had taken on a sarcastic, bitter edge.

"No...broken" her daughter whispered the words softly, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I..." Amanda couldn't stop her own tears from spilling, she didn't know what to say. How do you tell your daughter that you thought it was finally over between her father and you? That just like her parents before her, she was going to be the product of a broken home?

Her tears turned into sobs and Tracey quickly sat down beside her and wrapped her in a hug.

They sat there like that for several minutes before Tracey finally asked...

"It's Fabian isn't it? Dad finally realized you're sleeping with him?"

Amanda looked up in surprise to see her daughter rolling her eyes.

"Oh please, you can't seriously think you actually hid that from anyone. You wanted Dad to find out. You made it so obvious that Jimmy and I would have to have been blind not to have seen it too. I think even the maid and pool boy probably knew about it."

Amanda felt her face flush as she thought about what her daughter had said. Was this really what she had wanted to become? Probably the source of gossip for the people who worked at her home? If you had asked her 10 years ago where she thought their lives would be at now, this would not have even been in the conversation.

"Mom...you're not going to just let him go like that are you?"

"Who Tracey?" she was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she wasn't sure if her daughter had been talking about Fabian or Michael or if Jimmy had somehow snuck into the conversation.

"DAD! Who else would I be talking about? You surely can't think that I would be encouraging you to stick with Fabian."

"Tracey...I..."

"Mom!" her daughter interrupted her, "how long have you and Dad been together now? You're just willing to throw that all away? Did you ever even love him? Did he matter at all?"

"Of course I love him! How could you even ask me that after everything that we've been through? All of the crap that he's pulled and I've stuck by his side! And where is all of this coming from Tracey? Aren't you the same daughter who screamed that she hated her father just a few days ago? Who sweet talks him when she wants something from him and tells him she wishes he wasn't her father if he doesn't comply?"

Amanda knew she shouldn't have said it but she was tired and her head hurt and she felt completely lost so she let her frustrations out on her daughter. She had realized half way through her outburst that she had said love...not loved. She massaged her temples as she felt the migraine coming on full force.

"This isn't about me and Dad" her daughter replied cooly. "We can scream at each other as much as we want but we can't divorce and go our separate ways. It's funny Mom, I remember you always telling me 'the grass isn't always greener on the other side,' but yet you keep trying to check out the neighbors lawn. I hope you're happy on that side of the fence because once you're over there you're going to realize what you had over on this side."

She got up in a huff and started to stomp back towards the house.

"Tracey...I...it doesn't matter what I want. Your father...he's done. He said so before he left. He doesn't love me anymore. I...I'm not sure he has for a long time." Amanda stated quietly.

Tracey stopped and glanced over her shoulder.

"Mom...if you think Dad doesn't love you anymore then I guess you're as blind as you thought Jimmy and I were to your affair." and with that she disappeared into the house.

Amanda stood, surprised by how much her body suddenly felt like it had aged. Wasn't it just yesterday that she had been bragging about having the body of a woman half her age? It sure didn't feel like it anymore. Of course nothing felt the same now. It didn't seem natural that things could change in just a few minutes did it? She looked up at the dark clouds that had started to form and now blocked out the sun. She laughed...it wasn't funny...but how fitting. The sky had changed just as fast and rather symbolically she might add. Today had started out all sunshine and roses. Now it was growing dark with the storm clouds that had formed. Just like in her life.

She walked silently into the house and up the stairs into hers and Michael's bedroom. She couldn't stop the tears from crawling down her face as she looked around at the pictures of them at their wedding...they looked so happy. They HAD been happy then. She looked at the giant portrait of her on the wall. Michael had insisted on having that made and hanging it in their bedroom. He had said it was so he could always look at her and how beautiful she is even when she wasn't in the room with him. What had happened to that Michael? The one who seemed to love her so much that he had pictures painted of her and explained away with cheesy lines of love? What had happened to the girl in those pictures? The one who only had eyes for her handsome husband. The one who couldn't wait for him to get home every day because he took her breath away.

She shook her head and tried to shake the memories with them as she threw her suitcase on her bed and started throwing clothes in it. She wasn't sure what she was going to do yet, she just knew that Michael had made it very clear that he expected her to be gone before he got back. Thinking about moving in with Fabian now made her stomach turn. Funny how just yesterday she was convinced that she was in love and wanted to travel the world with him. Now he suddenly seemed like a stranger that she wanted nothing to do with. A toy that she had gotten bored with. No...she wouldn't move in with him. Instead she'd find a hotel and stay there until she figured out what to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Michael hit the brakes so hard that he almost bounced off the steering wheel. He didn't even hear what the man said from the sports car in front of him but he definitely saw the finger thrown his way. He tightened his hands on the steering wheel and leaned his head out the window...

"hey! This is NOT the day to mess with me buddy so if you value that precious piece of metal as much as you seem too, then I suggest you hit the gas and keep driving...and fast." he yelled out the window, his voice a little raspier than usual.

He must have sounded as crazy as he felt at the moment because the tires screeched as the car fled his presence. He sighed as he rubbed his forehead. He didn't want to deal with anyone right now. He didn't want to see people, he didn't want to hear people, and he definitely didn't want to talk to anyone right now. What he'd REALLY like is to be sitting home in front of his couch, drinking a glass of his favorite whiskey. That wasn't a possibility though. He couldn't be in the same house as Amanda right now. He wouldn't be able to look at her without thinking of her and Fabian and he was afraid of the things he'd have said if he had stuck around. He let out a choked laugh. It's not like there's much else to say after you tell the only woman you've ever loved that it was over and that she should pack her things.

He hit the steering wheel with the palm of his hand as he raced down the street faster than he needed too. He already knew he was going to get a room at the hotel just a few blocks away from his house, but right now he just needed to drive. Maybe if he went far enough and fast enough he could forget that his life was falling apart even more than it had been for the past few years. What was going on? He had thought he had everything under control when his death had been faked and he had finally gotten his family out of that situation and made a life here. He had thought that everything was going to be perfect. What else could he want right? He had money, a nice house, two great kids, and a beautiful wife that loved him. Right? He smirked...loved him...right. Guess she loved her tennis instructor too...and Fabian of course. He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been. Hiring two male instructors just to get her off his back. Any idiot could have seen this coming. Not this idiot though. Nope...he didn't see it coming until he walked in on her and her little tennis buddy in bed...HIS bed. He shook his head, that was how this whole mess started...him jumping back into his old lifestyle. He didn't think things through, as usual, and him and Franklin had gotten themselves in a little over their heads. Well, at least that had gotten rid of that little pest. If only it hadn't just cleared the way for Mr. namaste himself.

After everything he had done for her...everything he had given her...and she'd betray him not once but TWICE? How's the saying go? Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice...he didn't even want to finish the thought. That was one of the hardest parts, the fact that he felt like such a fool. He had taken care of the first problem, only to go back to exactly what he had been doing before. Who else had known about Fabian? The kids? The maid? How long had everyone else known but him? He seethed at the idea that everyone knew and laughed at him behind his back.

Before he knew it, he was driving down by the water and at the last minute decided to turn into one of the parking lots along the beach. He sat in his car with the windows down, just listening to the waves crash along the shore for a few minutes. It had always had a calming effect on him and he felt his breathing slowly return to normal. The tightness in his chest didn't seem to ease though. He supposed that was no surprise, after all, he felt like his heart had been ripped out and stomped on. He sat there for so long that the sun finally began to set.

He rested his head against the back of the seat and stared up at the roof of the car. What had Amanda been thinking? Was he suddenly not good enough? Well what about you Michael? His head snapped up...what about me? He felt like his own mind was betraying him. You cheated on her first didn't you? What was the case then? Was SHE not good enough? He audibly growled...he hated when he had logical thoughts.

He liked to forget about some of his past mistakes. If he didn't think about them, then sometimes he could convince himself that they never occured. This one in particular was one that he liked to pretend never happened. That wasn't a possibility though was it? It HAD happened and he couldn't even explain why. It hadn't been that he was dissatisfied in his marriage. Quite the opposite in fact, he couldn't have been more in love with his wife. He had always loved her...still did. That's why this hurt so much. Like an idiot, he had allowed himself to drink way more than he should have and an opportunity presented itself. Next thing he knew, he was waking up beside a woman that wasn't his wife and knew he had just made the biggest mistake of his life. He'd never forget the look on Amanda's face when she found out. She had looked absolutely crushed. He had actually felt physically sick as he had watched her fall apart right in front of him. Oh she was angry, definitely angry, but first she had sobbed. He had felt like the biggest jerk in the world, but the sad part was that after it was all said and done he had started acting like that biggest jerk in the world.

He rubbed his eyes and ran his hands down his face. Well...maybe all that money he was paying for that counseling crap was actually paying off a little. Wasn't this what mature functioning adults did? Think about the things they had done and the situations that had resulted from them and accepted responsibility for them, rather than blaming everyone else for all of the problems? When Amanda had cheated the first time, she had gotten so upset with him when he had let his anger and jealousy get out of control. He remembered their conversation quite clearly.

"Who do you think you are calling ME a whore?" she had screamed at him. "Don't you dare forget that YOU cheated on ME first Michael! You! You sure weren't thinking about me and my feelings were you?"

"Oh sure Amanda, let's try and take the focus off of you and your sleeping around with any man you find. I know! Let's blame your husband for the fact that you cheated!"

"Any man I can find Michael? I begged you to play tennis with me. I begged you to spend ANY time with me! YOU were the man I WANTED to find. YOU'RE the one that insisted on hiring a tennis instructor! 'It will help your game' you said. 'Maybe you'll actually be able to beat me then' you said. Don't you dare act like Mr. innocent with me"

He cringed when he thought about it now. He HAD been the one to insist on hiring the idiot. So stupid...why couldn't he have just played a few games with his wife like she wanted? Maybe take her out for drinks every now and then. But no...he had lost himself in his own moping around, thinking about how his life was going nowhere but down.

He started the car again and with a heavy sigh he pulled back onto the road. He had definitely screwed up majorly. In so many ways he didn't even know if he could count them all. He definitely held some blame in his marriage falling apart. As much as he wanted to scream screw you at his wife and put all of the blame at her feet for her infidelity, he was man enough to own up to his own mistakes. He HAD been the one to cheat first and he knew that making that mistake had dealt a very damaging blow to his marriage. Unfortunately he hadn't worked at repairing that damage and his wife had decided to carry out her revenge by dealing out the same poison. Yeah...he definitely owned part of the blame. It didn't matter now though. At this point his marriage felt like it couldn't be repaired. His therapist kept telling him that a marriage needed to be based on trust. He let out a snort of laughter. Trust...well that was pretty much screwed at this point.

He pulled into the parking lot of the hotel and sat in silence staring at the entrance for a few minutes. He wondered what Amanda was doing right now. Was she packing her things like he had said? Part of him hoped that she was...the other part hoped that she had refused and would still be there when he calmed down and returned. Ah who was he kidding. She probably couldn't pack fast enough...she had probably ran straight into Fabian's arms. Namaste. He wished he'd have broken his jaw instead of pushing him into the pool. Let him try to keep spouting off that stupid word then.

He threw open his door and stepped out. He had left the house in such a hurry that he hadn't even grabbed any clothes or toiletries. He always kept a change of clothes in the trunk though. You never knew when you'd need a quick change in his line of work. He grabbed the bag and walked into the hotel. The woman at the front desk had been all ready to exchange pleasantries but he just wasn't in the mood to talk, let alone play nice with anyone. He had said as few words as possible and knew he hadn't made a good impression. What did he care though...he was only planning on being there for a few days. Besides, it was his life that was falling apart. He figured he had the right to be a jerk right now if he wanted too.

Walking into the cool air conditioned room, he dropped his bag as soon as he got in the door. Well, now what? Watch tv? Sleep? Pretend this entire day hasn't happened...the last two years haven't happened? That would be nice. Instead he decided that his own thoughts were going to drive him crazy.

'When all else fails...whiskey never lets me down' he smiled as he made his way back out the door and down to the bar he had passed on the first floor. He didn't miss the wink from the attractive blonde leaning against the counter, but honestly...he had zero interest. Yeah, she was pretty...but she didn't compare to his wife. He shook his head, trying to force any thoughts of Amanda out of his head. Whiskey in hand, he returned to his room where he drank and drank with memories swirling through his mind until finally, mercifully, he passed out on the bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Amanda had finished packing that night, but couldn't bring herself to leave the bedroom so she ended up sleeping in their large bed alone. She had fallen asleep on Michael's pillow, inhaling his scent that had still remained. She sighed when she woke up the next morning and it wasn't all a dream. She got up, showered and dressed, and rolled her luggage out of the bedroom door.

"Mom wait!" She jumped when Jimmy startled her from his bedroom door. He was staring at her luggage with an expression that was somewhere between sadness and expectation.

"I'm going with you, just wait a sec while I throw a few things in my bag," he said as he had already turned around and disappeared back into his room.

"What? Jimmy no...I don't even know where I'm going. I'll probably be at a hotel for a few days, maybe even a couple of weeks, until I figure everything out." She was surprised by how exhausted she sounded, even to her own ears.

"All of your things are here...your games...tv...stereo...you wouldn't know what to do with yourself without all of that."

"Soooo you're saying you don't want me to go with you..." Jimmy had slowly reappeared back in his doorway.

"No...no...I'm not saying that all. I would love to have you with me. I...I don't exactly want to be alone," she said as she looked down at the floor. "But I don't even know what I'm going to be doing myself. This is your home Jimmy..."

"It's your home too Mom, you don't have to leave just because Dad wants to throw his weight around and tells you to get out!"

"It wasn't like that honey. I...well...there was a lot of other stuff that factored in and..."

"You mean Fabian," Jimmy interrupted her.

Amanda's eyes jerked up to meet his in surprise. She had forgotten that Tracey had said Jimmy had known as well.

"Uh yes...that was a big part of it as well" she said softly as she glanced towards the stairs, suddenly ready to escape. She was tired of talking about Fabian, tired of thinking about her failed marriage, tired of the realization that her family was falling apart.

"Who cares Mom, who cares what Dad wants! Since when have we meant anything to him anyway?" Amanda's head whipped back towards her son as he angrily spat out the words.

"He's just a miserable old has been that is angry that his life didn't turn out the way he wanted so he wants to ruin it for the rest of us," he continued.

"Jimmy he's still your father..."

"My father? That's rich..." he huffed out in amusement, "a father spends time with their kids. A father sets a good example for his kids. A father doesn't go around killing people and robbing places because he enjoys it more than spending time with his kids..."

He was all set to continue but Amanda held up her hand to stop him.

"Alright Jimmy, enough...he's not perfect. He has definitely made mistakes...a lot of them. Way more than I can count in fact, but...he's not the only one as much as I hate to admit it. I shouldn't have done the things that I did. It doesn't matter why I did them, I still shouldn't have done them, but it's too late to go back and change things now. Your father...he loves you...he just doesn't always know how to show it. He didn't have an example of what a father should be like when he was growing up so he never really knew HOW..."

"Oh his dad was a criminal too?" Jimmy interrupted sarcastically.

"No Jimmy...his dad beat him and abandoned him and his Mom" Amanda replied quietly.

Jimmy's jaw dropped in surprise. "Are you serious? I didn't know...he never talks about that. He never talks about anything before we moved here actually."

"Yeah well, we all have our things that we bury inside sweetheart. Just because they're buried deep doesn't mean they don't still hurt and influence the things we say and do."

They stood in silence for a few moments before Amanda walked over to her son and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I have to go but I'll call you. I'll let you know as soon as I'm out of the hotel and have a place to stay and we'll see how you feel about moving out then. You know you're always welcome with me. I love you honey. Look after your sister for me...and keep an eye on your father. Don't let him drown himself in his whiskey."

"Love you too Mom. Don't worry, I'll look out for them. In between games I mean" Jimmy said with a smile that wasn't quite genuine. He watched her until she disappeared around the corner and down the steps and then he returned to his room to disctract himself with his video game.

Amanda didn't stop until she was standing beside her car and had lifted her suitcase inside. She turned around to take a last look at the house that had been her home for many years now. It was just a house though...wood and bricks and whatever else houses were made out of. It was what was inside that she was going to miss. Even when it was constant fighting, the fighting...it was still a reminder that you weren't alone. Having her family around her...that was what she would miss.

Ugh...here came the tears again. It was time to leave before she fell apart once more. She looked around but didn't see Tracey's car. It wasn't a surprise though, she had peeked into her daughter's room and it had been empty. She knew her daughter was still angry with her. She'd calm down in a few days though, enough to answer her mother's phone calls anyway.

* * *

><p>When Michael returned to the house two days later he found the silence to be deafening. The next thing he knew, two weeks had passed and nothing felt normal. Even his kids were quieter than usual. He had gotten into another argument with Jimmy the night before because his son wanted a new car and Michael had told him to get a job and make something of his life. Jimmy had told him that he'd had enough of his dad trying to ruin his life.<p>

"Isn't it enough that you made sure we weren't a real family anymore? You have to try to ruin my life in any other way you can? I can't even look at you anymore. All you do is drink and sit around all depressed and then you tell me to make something of my life? I'm sick of it and I'm sick of you! I'm going to live with Mom" he had yelled at his father.

"That's great Jim, go live out of a hotel room with your Mother. Bet you'll love it there" he had replied sarcastically.

"Not that you'd know or even care Dad, but Mom's not at the hotel anymore. She's renting a condo now. Maybe Fabian even lives there with her now. Maybe we'll be a happy little family" he sneered as he tried to push his Dad's buttons.

It worked, boy had it worked. Michael felt his blood pressure go through the roof and the next thing he knew the glass of whiskey he had been holding was shattering against the opposite wall.

"Real cool Dad, real cool..." Jimmy had said, slightly shaken by the display of anger. He turned around and stomped off upstairs and Michael could hear him making a phone call and asking someone to pick him up.

Michael returned to the kitchen to poor himself a new glass of whiskey and a few minutes later heard Jimmy dragging his duffel bag along the floor and out the front door, slamming it shut behind him. Several glasses of whiskey later it stung a little less. 

* * *

><p>Amanda waited in her new condo for her son to arrive. He had called her a few minutes ago to tell her that he couldn't take it with his father anymore and that he was coming to stay with her. It was a good thing she had decided to go with a home that was already fully furnished, this way there was a guest bedroom that he could have to himself that already had a nice bed ready for him. Oh it wasn't anything like he was used to back at the house, but it would have to do. On one hand she was relieved...it had been lonely there by herself. Fabian kept calling and calling, begging her to come live with him. Part of her had almost given in and agreed, not because she loved Fabian and wanted a life with him but because she wasn't sure how to be alone. Every night she would lay in her bed and stare at the ceiling, alone with her thoughts she would replay the last two and a half weeks of her life and think about the things she wishes she had done different. She felt like it was slowly driving her insane. She'd never been so desperate to spend time with her kids before but at this point she'd even thought about getting a dog just so she'd have something to distract her from her own mind.<p>

she was jerked from her thoughts by the pounding on the door. She opened it to reveal her son, who stomped past her without even a hello.

"He's such a jerk Mom! I hate him! All he does is get on my case all the time for no reason at all. He even threw his glass of stupid whiskey at me tonight! He's out of his mind!" He let it all out in a big rush of air, as if he had been waiting the entire car ride just so he could let it all out as soon as he got in the door.

"What?!" she exclaimed, "he threw a glass at you? Did it hit you? Are you ok?"

"Well...I guess technically it wasn't AT me but it could have been! He totally lost it Mom. All I did was mention that you got a new place and that MAYBE Fabian was here too and..."

"But Fabian's not here," she interrupted him, "he hasn't even been here once. You know that."

"Well...yeah...but Dad doesn't and I was really mad at him and...well...it just kinda came out. You know what he's like! I just needed to get away. All he does is drink and stare at the wall. I mean he drank a lot before but now that's really all he does. Even Franklin called me because Dad wasn't answering any of his phone calls...I told him everything."

Amanda bit her lip and wrapped her arms around herself as she went to stand in front of the window, staring out at the lights that lit up the night. Great, now even Michael's literal partners in crime knew about their failures as a family. She didn't know how to fix any of this. She reached up with both hands to massage her temples.

"Your father will come around Jimmy, he's just..."

"Insane? Out of his mind? Crazy?" Jimmy interrupted her.

"Probably all of the above but aren't we all?" she laughed. "Come on, your room is over here...let's get you settled in.


	4. Chapter 4

Tracey came home after a night out on the town with her friends to find her Dad passed out on the couch, empty glass on the floor beside him...empty whiskey bottle beside that. She shook her head...this was starting to become a familiar scene every night. He had always liked to drink, it had driven her Mom nuts that he would just grab a glass and go sit out by the pool and listen to Phil Collins all day. It had been different since she left though. It wasn't just a drink here or there throughout the day, now it was more surprising if there was a time she DIDN'T see him with a whiskey bottle in hand...or at least nearby.

"Dad..." she said as she shook his shoulder, "Daddy wake up...come on."

"mmph," he moaned into the fabric of the couch.

"Tracey?" he mumbled as he tried to open his eyes and keep them open. "What are you doing sweetheart? What time is it?"

She rolled her eyes as he slurred his words.

"It's time for you to get off the couch and go to bed. Don't you ever get tired of drinking so much?"

"Shouldn't that be my line to you?" he asked with a frown as he tried to pull himself up into a sitting position.

"Not that you're ever sober enough to know, but I ACTUALLY don't drink much. Well...I mean...I do but not all the time like you."

"Yeah well...you and I...we drink for different reasons sweetheart," he said as he pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping to ease the pain that had already started to chase away the numbness of the alcohol.

"And what's that daddy? I know why I drink...but what about you? Are you trying to kill yourself?" she said as she crossed her arms and frowned at him.

"What? No! I mean...if I was going to do that I would just go..."

"Stop!" she interrupted him abruptly, "don't even finish that sentence. The fact that you've even thought enough about it to know what you WOULD do is something that you shouldn't tell your daughter Dad! Please tell me you're not serious!"

"Tracey...I'm not going to kill myself sweetheart. I just...the drinking...the alcohol just numbs everything for a while...ya know? Makes everything hurt a little less."

Tracey just looked at her dad with sad eyes..."Why don't you do something about it then Daddy? Why don't you just go talk to Mom? I know you guys are both messed up but you can figure this out!"

Michael let out a bitter laugh..."If only it was that easy Trace...unfortunately there's a lot of other stuff at play here."

"Like what Dad? Fabian? He's not even in the picture anymore! Oh he keeps trying alright. Mom told me that he keeps calling her, wanting her to move in with him..."

"Yeah I'll just bet he does" Michael interrupted with a roar.

"The point is that she hasn't and she's not going too Dad," Tracey said with another roll of her eyes. "She doesn't want to move in with him, she doesn't want anything to do with him."

"Well that's a first..." Michael mumbled under his breath.

"Ugh...you guys are such idiots..." Tracey said in exasperation.

"Watch your mouth kid...I'm still your father."

"Well you are! Suck it up and be a dad then! You say there's a lot of other things at play but the only thing at play is your pride! Mom's too! You both know you screwed up and you both are miserable but neither one of you wants to be the one that goes to the other and apologizes! It's no wonder Jimmy and I are so screwed up!"

"Speaking of Jimmy...he's gone you know. Decided he'd be better off with your Mother so he took off..." Michael abruptly changed subjects as he laid his head against the back of the couch.

"Nice try in changing the subject Dad. Yeah...he texted me when he was on his way over there."

"You gonna leave too? Might as well make it a trifecta," Michael said as he threw a hand up in the air in frustration.

"Why do you do that? Push everyone away I mean," Tracey said as she stood up and started to pace in front of him. "I'm not going anywhere, besides I wouldn't dare leave you alone even if I wanted too."

Michael leaned forward, slowly nodding his head.

"Good...I...I'm glad Trace...I don't think I could handle another one" he said so softly she almost didn't hear him.

"Another what Daddy?"

"Another person I love leaving me."

Her heart broke a little for the man that frustrated her more than anyone she knew but was also the one that she knew she could count on whenever she needed him. She always had been a daddy's girl...she didn't know why. There had just always been a bond there, a connection that she couldn't explain. Oh she adored her mother too, even if she didn't always act like it. She even liked her brother a little...ok maybe she loved him too when he wasn't being an annoying little brat. Her father had always been the one she was closest to though. He'd always been the one she had wanted to impress, the one she wanted to make proud.

She sat down beside him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She thought she was surprised when he actually leaned into her hug, but she was definitely way more surprised when she felt his shoulders shake a little and looked down to see a tear trickling down his cheek. Wow...well this was one positive about him consuming so much alcohol...he talked about things he normally wouldn't talk about and showed emotion that he normally wouldn't show.

She knew one thing though, she was going to try to bring her family back together if it was the last thing she did. She didn't know how or when but she was determined to try. Everyone was always telling her that she was a master manipulator, she smiled to herself as she held her father, maybe that would work out to her advantage this time.

* * *

><p>Two months had passed and Tracey was no closer to figuring out how she was going to pull this off.<p>

What I really need to do is make one of them so worried about the other that they'll forget about their pride and themselves for a minute and focus on the other, she thought to herself with a smile. She had intentionally stayed with a friend for the last couple of days so she could set this up. She picked up her phone and dialed a number. 

"Hey Mom...have you heard from Dad? I haven't heard from him in a couple of days and I'm starting to get a little worried!"

"What? Aren't you at the house? Has he been there alone? Have you tried calling him?" Her Mother's words came out in a rush.

"Whoa Mom...slow down. Of course I'm at the house, well not at this exact moment. I'm living there though but I've been hanging out a lot with friends the last couple of days so I haven't been home much. I tried calling him but he didn't answer," she said with a smirk as she tried to insert just the right amount of worry and fear into her voice.

"Mom do you think you could try calling him? Maybe he'd answer for you!"

"Oh honey, you know better than that. If he was going to ignore anyone's phone calls, it would be mine." her Mother replied.

Tracey sighed in frustration...this was more difficult than she thought it was going to be.

"What's going on?" she heard Jimmy yell in the background over the noise of the tv.

"Your Dad is missing...he won't answer any of your sister's calls," their Mother informed him.

"Well maybe he just drank so much that he passed out in an alley somewhere," Jimmy replied.

"Hellllooooo..." Tracey called out loudly on the phone, "I'm still here...the one you're having a conversation with...remember?"

"Sorry sweetheart," her Mother sounded stressed, "I'm just worried about your Dad."

"Good! It's about time someone else other than me acted like they cared about him for a change."

"I never stopped caring Tracey, you know that. It's just...your father he's...never mind. It doesn't matter right now. I'll...ugh...Trevor's calling again."

"Uh what? Uncle Trevor's calling? He's calling YOU?" Tracey was shocked.

"I was just as shocked trust me. This is actually the second time, he called earlier today too. Oh my g...I'm going to call him back Tracey...maybe it's about your Father. Maybe he knows something!" Her Mother sounded scared now. 

Tracey was actually starting to feel a little scared herself. This was all part of her plan except for Trevor...anytime her Uncle was involved everything got a little more unpredictable. The fact that he was actually calling her Mom made her a little nervous. To say they did not get along would have been the understatement of the year. She set her phone down beside her and started chewing on a fingernail nervously.


	5. Chapter 5

Just wanted to make sure the person that wrote the "guest" review knows that I saw their review. First of all thanks so much! Second...I would totally be open to characters, the only problem with that one is that I had already written 5 chapters and posted two or three of them, so it seemed like it would be hard to sell the idea of Michael and Amanda having three children after I had already written so much about both Jimmy and Tracey and made no mention of a third child. Sorry :( Thanks for the idea though, if I had any idea how to make it work without it seeming like a completely sudden, random addition to the middle of the story I totally would do it!

* * *

><p>Michael had worn the same clothes for a couple of days now so he decided that if he was going to go out in public, he should probably shower and put on some fresh clothes. He hadn't shaved in the same amount of time, so he had a scruffy little beard coming along nicely too. Oh well, he wasn't going to bother with that right now. He hadn't even realized until he looked in the mirror that he hadn't gotten a haircut in several weeks either and it now curled up onto his shirt collar. Maybe he'd worry about that later, for right now he just wanted to drive. Besides, it wasn't like there was anyone he needed to worry about taking care of himself for.<p>

A half hour later he pulled into a parking lot and walked down to the dock where his yacht had once been. Man, he had loved to come sit out here and just look at that beauty. He hadn't really used it much, he just liked to look at it. Then Jimmy had went and made sure that he wouldn't be able to do that again. He shook his head as he sat down at the end of the dock, letting his legs hang over the edge. There was something about the waves crashing up against the wood that was comforting and relaxing. He loved the smell of the water and the mist that always sprayed in his face.

His phone startled him when it began ringing in his pocket. He pulled it out, only to grimace and silence the phone call. Trevor. He hadn't taken any of his phone calls since Amanda had moved out. Come to think of it, he hadn't spoken to Franklin either. It wasn't anything personal, he just didn't want to talk to anyone. In fact, the more time that went by without talking to anyone, the less he wanted to talk. He hadn't even called his kids in a couple of days. He knew he should, especially since Tracey had called him twice and had just sent him a text message this morning asking if he was ok. She had been staying with a friend the last couple of days and he didn't want her to worry, so he'd call her back later tonight...if he remembered.

He didn't know how long he had sat there...he had zoned out just staring at the ripples in the water. He knew it had to have been at least a couple of hours though because it was getting to be late in the afternoon judging by the sun.

"Mikey...you been ignoring me"

"Ahhh come on...really?" he mumbled to himself. How in the world did he find me?

"Hey T...didn't figure you to be much of a boat enthusiast" he said as he turned his head to glance back at the man walking towards him on the dock.

Trevor snorted..."I'm not, but then again I don't see a boat here. You really have gone crazy...welcome...it's fun on this side isn't it?"

Michael rolled his eyes, "whatever T...it's a long story. How'd you find me anyway?"

"Well I gotta tell you Mikey, it was a little tough...what with you ignoring my phone calls and all."

"I wasn't ignorning your calls, I just..."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that," Trevor interrupted him. "Anyway, I stopped by your house. Imaging my surprise when I found no one inside and it looked like a bunch of hoodlums had torn the place apart."

Michael just sat in silence, knowing his friend was waiting for an explanation but unwilling to give one.

"SO..." Trevor continued after realizing that Michael wasn't going to say anything, "I called MRS. De Santa...who like her husband...ignored me. Called your son...Jimmy...you remember him. Fine young man...a little lazy but fine none the less. He let me in on a little secret...apparently all is not well in the De Santa family."

"I don't need a recap of my own problems T...I don't need to hear it."

"Right well, back on point then shall we? I only found you because I finally spoke to your loving wife to find out where you might be. She said this was your favorite place to go to think and be alone so this is where she would guess you were. Guess she actually DOES know you pretty well...who'da thunk it."

Michael sighed and got to his feet..."yeah...who'da thunk it."

"Lookin' a little rough there Mikey. Not that I mind myself but I'm surprised that mister GQ here is letting himself go" he reached over and ruffled Michael's hair to emphasize his point.

"Yeah you'd know all about letting yourself go wouldn't you T?" Michael replied as he crossed his arms and pointedly looking at Trevor's oufit, which was stained with grease and blood and who knows what else.

"Now now Mikey, just because you finally found out your wife is a whore is no reason to be lashing out at those of us who haven't betrayed you. Actually you're a perfect pair!" Trevor said cheerfully.

"Shut your mouth Trevor" Michael glared at him as his hands curled into fists.

"Ooolala...which part got under your skin? The part about your wife being a whore? Or..." he didn't get a chance to get the second part of his question out before Michael's fist connected with his face, knocking him to the ground.

"I told you to shut up! YOU don't get to talk about her like that," Michael yelled as he stood above him and pointed down.

Trevor touched the skin beneath his eye where Michael's fist had connected. He could already feel the tender skin starting to swell. He slowly pushed himself to his feet.

"Little sensitive about that issue huh? The truth hurts does it Mikey?" he growled.

Michael shoved him hard but Trevor was more prepared this time so it didn't knock him down. Instead he swung as hard as he could and connected with Michael's mouth.

Michael stumbled to the side but caught himself before he hit the dock. He spit out the blood that was already filling his mouth from his lip that had split. The next thing he knew, him and Trevor were rolling around on the dock, each one trying to get the upper hand and landing a few blows here and there.

A shrill whistle split the air, catching them both off guard. They both looked up in surprise to see Franklin standing above them. He shook his head in disgust as he pulled Trevor off of Michael and helped the older man to his feet.

"What is wrong with you two? I swear...if this is what I have to look forward to in middle age then I might as well just quit now."

"What are you doing here anyway...homey?" Trevor asked, dripping with sarcasm as he added the last word.

"Man shut up, this isn't about you anyway" Franklin replied with a sneer.

Michael sighed as he wiped some blood away from his eye that was trickling down from a cut along his eyebrow.

"What ARE you doing here F?" he asked.

"Your wife called me and said she was worried. Said that no one had heard from you in a few days and that even Trevor here was trying to find you. Told me this was where she had suggested he look for you, so I figured I'd better get my butt down here to make sure ya'll hadn't killed each other yet. Guess I figured right." Franklin replied.

"Great, just great" Michael said irritably.

"Yeah man, I guess it just sucks to have people worried about you and reaching out to help you doesn't it Michael? Man if you weren't so wrapped up in yourself and your ego, you'd see that life isn't as terrible as you make it out to be. Why don't you quit tryin' to make yourself a martyr and try fixin' things so you can get your family back?" Franklin replied.

"Yeah Mikey, this might come as a shock but life isn't all about youuuu ya know" Trevor added.

"Shut up Trevor" both Michael and Franklin said in unison.

"Oh...oh I see how it is? You two got a little thing going on? Decided to push me out of the picture is that it? Well I..."

"T...shut...up" Michael said in exasperation. "It's really easy for you two to sit in the cheap seats and give me advice on how to fix my screw ups. Well that's great...but maybe there isn't a way to fix it. Maybe my family doesn't want it to be fixed. My wife left me, my son left me...you're right...life is just peachy right now."

Franklin rolled his eyes, "Your wife 'left you' because you told her to get out and your boy..."

"AFTER she cheated on him...twice...I might add" Trevor interrupted.

Michael nodded and pointed with his thumb towards Trevor in agreement

"AND...your son left because it was driving him crazy watching you drown your sorrows in whiskey all day long and sitting around all depressed. Tracey stuck around didn't she? Did you ever stop to think what it was doin' to her to watch you waste away like you been doing?"

Michael locked his fingers together on top of his head and turned away from the other two men.

"What do you want from me Franklin? What does everyone want from me? I can't just snap my fingers and make my wife love me again. I can't snap them and make my kids love me either. Definitely can't make them respect me," he said with a humorless laugh.

"Man...for such a criminal genius you sure can be an idiot sometimes" Franklin replied as Michael sent a glare his way. "If your kids didn't love you then they wouldn't be tryin' to get help for you. If your wife didn't still love you then she sure as heck wouldn't be calling people asking them to check on you and make sure you were ok. Askin' people to call her back and just let her know that you're alive. She wouldn't be crying because she's worried that you did something to yourself or someone did something TO you." He looked pointedly over at Trevor as he added the last part.

Trevor raised both hands and backed away a few steps.

"I'm just sayin' Michael, it's not like you don't have a chance to be a family again. Ya'll just have to decide if that's what you want and if it is then you need to quit mopin around, all of ya'll, and get up off your butts and do something about it."

"Yeah yeah...ok F...I get it. I hear you. I...I guess I just have a lot of thinking to do. I need to get my head screwed on straight," Michael replied.

"Yeah ya do" Trevor added from a few feet away.

"T...so help me" Michael turned towards him.

"Easy easy," Franklin said as he grabbed Michael's arm. "Let's just all ease up and get out of here. It's gettin' late, Michael I think you have some people to call and let know you're still alive and in one piece."

"Yeah...alright" Michael said as the three made their way back towards the parking lot. "Hey guys...thanks...you know...ah...for caring and all that."

"Whoa whoa...who said we care" Trevor said as he held up both hands.

"Shut up Trevor" came the reply from both of the other men as they walked towards their cars.

"Right...of course...always a pleasure ladies," Trevor said as he climbed into his own vehicle.


	6. Chapter 6

Michael got into his car and leaned his head back against the seat. He heard Trevor's rusty old jeep roar off and waited to hear Franklin's souped up car drive away as well. Instead he heard a car stop beside his and just wait. He looked over to see Franklin beside him with his hands up in the air as if to ask 'what are you waiting for.' He pressed the button to send his window down as he rolled his eyes.

"Franklin...I'm fine...I promise. I'm just going to give Tracey a call before I leave."

Franklin eyed him suspiciously so Michael held up three fingers and added "scouts honor."

"Ok dog but I'm callin' your fam in an hour and if they haven't seen your ugly mug by then, Imma hunt you down. Scout's honor that," Franklin replied before driving off.

Michael sighed as he pulled out his phone and pulled up his contacts. The first one that showed up on his list was Amanda and he hesitated there for a moment before scrolling down to Tracey's name. He looked at himself in the rear-view mirror as he listened to the phone ring.

He had stopped bleeding from the cut along his eyebrow but the darn split in his lip kept oozing blood. He was going to have a nice shiner the next day too. Freakin' Trevor and his big mouth. No one...NO ONE called his wife a whore other than himself and got away with it.

"Hello? Daddy is that you?" the relieved voice of his daughter interrupted his thoughts.

"Hey sweetheart, yeah it's me." He knew he sounded tired...he WAS tired.

"Are you ok? Where have you been? You didn't answer any of my texts or calls and then when Uncle Trevor was trying to find you too it made us freak out even more and then Franklin..." she rattled off quickly without taking a breath.

"Tracey...slow down...take a breath," he interrupted with a chuckle. "I'm fine, I just was out on the dock and uh...I uh...I left my phone in the car." He hated to lie to his daughter but it seemed easier than trying to explain why he wasn't answering anyone's calls.

"That's where Mom thought you might be! She was like freaking out here Dad. You know Mom. She was rambling on and on about how Trevor probably found you and did something stupid...really crazy stuff. She was calling everyone you know trying to find out if they had heard from you and if you were ok!"

Michael smiled...he wasn't 100% sure that all of that was true...his daughter liked to exaggerate to make her point or get her way. It was nice to think that it was true though.

"I'm not exaggerating Dad..." his daughter said, as if she could read his mind, "we finally made her go do her yoga to calm down. She wouldn't do it though until we promised we'd keep calling people."

"I'm sorry sweetheart...I didn't think about it I guess. I just...needed to get away for a few hours I guess," he replied, feeling a little guilty.

"I'm just glad you're ok. I...I'm sorry I haven't been home in a couple of days Dad...I should have been there," she said...sounding unsure.

"Tracey, sweetheart, it's not your job to babysit me," he replied with a soft laugh. "I'm a grown man, fully capable of taking care of myself. If anything, I should have been there for YOU. I know it hasn't been easy on you or Jimmy to be caught in the middle of all of this but I've been so wrapped up in everything that I guess I ignored what it's been doing to you guys."

There was silence on the other end for a few moments and he thought he heard a sniffle.

"It's ok Dad...I just...I want us to be a family again." his daughter said quietly.

"I know sweetie...I do too," he replied with a sigh.

"Hey Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you could do me a huge favor?"

"Anything," Michael replied as he smiled at the abrupt change in subject. This was the daughter he knew.

"Could you come pick me up? When everyone thought you were missing, I had my friend drop me off at Mom's place. I figured since you're driving home anyway...maybe you could pick me up on the way?"

Michael froze...he hadn't seen Amanda since that day by the pool with Fabian. They hadn't even talked on the phone or by text. He wasn't sure how he would act or what he would say.

"Daddy? Are you still there?"

"Uh yeah...sorry Trace...I'm still here."

"Soooo...is that a yes?" she asked sweetly.

"...I...yeah I guess I can do that," Michael replied reluctantly. "You'll have to text me the address though."

"Oooooo thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm going to send you the address right now. Thanks Daddy! Love you!" she hung up without giving him a chance to change his mind.

Michael sat in his car in silence for a few minutes, even after he heard his phone chime with his daughter's text message. He should have said no. Maybe he could just sit out in the car and honk the horn for Tracey to come out...or maybe he'd just call or text her to let her know that he was outside waiting. Yeah...that's what he'd do. He doubted Amanda would be any more comfortable than he felt anyway so he was probably safe in assuming she'd stay in the house.

Feeling a little better about the situation, he started his car and looked at Tracey's text to get the address. He hadn't realized that his wife's new place was just a few streets away from their home. He has assumed she would get as far away as possible. Then again, he had also assumed she would be moving in with Fabian but apparently that hadn't happened.

Ten minutes had already passed since his call with his daughter had ended. He'd better get going or she'd be calling again wondering where he was. He smiled to himself as he pulled out onto the street. He had to admit, it was nice to know someone was worried about him.

It was another ten minutes before Michael pulled into the condo parking lot at the address his daughter had texted him. He sent her a text message and waited a couple of minutes but a reply never came. He tried calling but there was no answer.

He rolled his eyes. "Oh come on Tracey...we both know that phone is always glued to your hand," he said out loud to himself.

He honked the horn a couple of times but the only reaction he got was from the condo next door when he saw a little old lady peek out from behind her curtains.

He sighed as he dialed his daughter's number again. "It would serve you right if I just left and you had to find another way home" he mumbled to himself.

Again there was no answer so he threw open his door in irritation. He let out a soft groan as he lifted himself out of the car. Trevor must have landed a couple of good blows to his side because his ribs were a little tender as his body stretched when he stood up straight. Could just be that he was getting old too...he was sure that didn't help matters any.

He slowly, reluctantly, walked up to the front door. He shook his head as he came to a stop just a short distance from knocking. He could hear the television from here. If he had to guess, he would wager that Jimmy had the remote. The kid acted like he was going deaf or was already there.

He lifted his hand to knock, only to stop himself. He had to roll his eyes over his own hesitation. Really De Santa? Scared of your own family? What are you going to do...wait out here until she decides to randomly look out the door and then say 'I'm here?'"

With a brief rush of course, he let his fist find the door. It sounded weak, even to him, so after a few seconds he knocked again more firmly.

The door jerked open suddenly and his wife's face appeared in front of his. He saw her before she realized it was him because her head was still turned, laughing at something one of the kids must have said.

The moment that her eyes met his she froze. Neither said a word, just stood there for a few minutes. He could have sworn he saw her eyes tear up but maybe that was just wishful thinking.

"Michael...I...I'm sorry it's just...I wasn't expecting...it's just...this is a surprise" she stumbled over her words. Maybe she was just as nervous as he was.

"Amanda...hi...I uh...," he cleared his throat, "Tracey didn't tell you I was coming? She asked me to pick her up. I thought she'd be waiting..." he let his voice trail off as his wife took a small step closer.

She narrowed her eyes, as if she was trying to get a better look at him in the darkness that had fallen. She let out a small, sudden gasp.

"Michael what happened to your face"

He reached up and touched his lip, surprised that he had completely forgotten about the visible evidence of his fight with Trevor.

"Oh uh...it's nothin'. It's fine...just a little scratch or two." he said as he tried to downplay his minor injuries.

Her hand reached towards his face hesitantly before stopping half way there and returning to her side.

He wished she had kept going...he missed her touch. He could almost feel the softness of her hand again.

"Trevor?" she asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.

He couldn't stop the way his mouth dropped slightly open, surprised that she would get it on the first guess.

"T? Now why would you think that?" he asked, surprised as a laugh escaped from his lips.

She let a soft, knowing smile appear on her lips.

"I guess I should say I'm sorry then. I was the one...I mean I told him...I was worried..." she stuttered before sighing. "I was the one who told him where to find you."

"Nah...you have nothing to be sorry for. Maybe if I hadn't ignored his phone calls he wouldn't have insisted on a face to face," Michael replied with a smirk.

She hesitantly smiled and opened her mouth to say something else when his daughter's head suddenly appeared beside Amanda's.

"Dad! What happened? I thought you said you were fine! Mom do something!" Tracey's eyes had grown huge when she saw the cuts and dried blood on her father's face.

"Tracey I AM fine...this is nothing. I'll get it cleaned up as soon as we get home." Michael said as he stepped back out of the doorway to make room for his daughter to walk out.

"Mom!" she looked at her Mother with expectation.

"Michael..." Amanda said before hesitating, "she's right. Come in, please...I...I'll get those cleaned up for you."

Michael watched her wrap her arms around herself, almost as if she was unsure of herself...unsure of what his reply would be.

He must have stood there a moment too long without replying because Tracey held out her arms to each side as if to say 'what seems to be the hold up?'

"Dad let her help you! Let your family help you" she said in exasperation.

Michael's eyes left her face to refocus on Amanda's...his eyes silently asking if she was sure.

She bit her lip softly as she nodded and took a step away from the door to make room for him to walk in. 

* * *

><p>Amanda clasped her hands together as she turned away from the door and walked towards the dining room where there was better lighting and a chair for Michael to sit on. She could hear his footsteps behind her and for some reason it made her nervous. Oh she wasn't nervous in a way that would imply that she thought he would hurt her. She had never been afraid of that. Not even during the moments that they were screaming at each other and the veins were popping out on his forehead and neck. No...she felt all kinds of different nerves. There was a nervous excitement to be back in the same room as him...a few feet from him. There was the nervousness that comes with desire and attraction in the early stages of getting to know someone. They were far from early stages in their relationship, but with everything that had happened, it felt like they were strangers. There was the nerves that came with the worry of saying the wrong thing and screwing things up worse than they already were. She didn't realize her hands were trembling until she had grabbed the first aid kit out from under the sink. She took a deep breath to steady herself before she turned back around to face him. He had been watching her but turned to walk back into the dining room and sat down in the chair she had pulled halfway out on her way by to the kitchen.<p>

"Listen...Amanda...you don't have to do this you know. I'll be fine," he said cautiously as he looked up at her.

"I know Michael. I mean...I...let me do this for you," she replied softly.

He nodded and took a deep breath as he settled against the back of the wooden chair and waited. She grabbed a clean towel from the kitchen and held it under the faucet until it was sufficiently damp with warm water. As she returned, she stood in front of him and reach up to take his face in her hands, hesitating briefly before letting her hands touch his skin. She could feel him tense up and heard his sudden but soft intake of breath. She was relieved to know that he was as nervous as she was. She held his jaw in her left hand as her right hand gently wiped away the small trail of blood that had escaped from the cut along his eyebrow. She wasn't just holding his face so that she could brace his head from moving as she wiped the blood away...she was doing it in hopes that it would disguise the shaking of her hands. Well...that and the fact that she couldn't keep her hands away. She had been longing to touch him for so long and as soon as her fingers had met his skin she had almost found her knees weakening.

At some point along the way his eyes had closed as he let her work. Her eyes wandered along his features...it had felt like she was looking at a stranger when she had met him at the door but now as she re-memorized each line...each scar...she was struck with familiarity. She had missed this...the closeness. She let her hand move along his jaw as she turned his head slightly. He hadn't shaved in a while and his jaw was covered with a short, stubbly beard. She wanted to keep running her fingers over it but she restrained herself. Some women had very specific preferences as to whether they preferred their man with or without facial hair. She never had...Michael looked good either way. When he was clean shaven she was drawn to his strong jaw line...when he had facial hair then he seemed even manlier than he already did before. She had lashed out at him so many times when she was angry and tried to hurt him by making comments about his age or the few extra pounds that he had packed on, but the truth was that she thought he was perfect. Even with the few extra pounds...maybe even more so in fact. It made him seem stronger...like there was more of him to hold her and protect her. The thought made tears form in her eyes and she blinked furiously to get rid of them so there would be no evidence should he decide to open his eyes. She let one hand rest lightly on the top of his head as she gently ran an antiseptic wipe over the cut before placing a band-aid over it. He apparently hadn't cut his hair in a while, maybe since she had been gone, because it curled over the edge of his collar. It looked good on him, but she had always preferred when he had kept it cut short. At the moment though, all she could think about was burying her fingers in it. She shook that thought away as she moved down to his puffy lip and the smears of blood below it.

She froze for a moment with one hand gently holding his chin...her thumb ran softly along the edge of his bottom lip. She sensed his eyes on her and self consciously licked her lips before raising the towel to wipe away the remnants of blood. She couldn't meet his eyes...she didn't want him to see what she was thinking...what she was feeling. He had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. They were strikingly blue and it had always felt like he could see right through to her soul when he looked at her. She didn't want him to see what she knew would be evident in her eyes right now so she focused on the task of putting ointment on his lip. This whole thing hadn't been a good idea, she should have just let him leave and take care of it himself like he had offered. His lips felt soft to the touch and she knew that they were soft to kiss as well. It had always amused her that such a strong, tough man that lead such a hard life could kiss her so softly. At the moment she wanted to be on the receiving end of his kiss so badly that she could almost taste it.

She could feel him watching her again and she shakily withdrew her hands.

"Alright, that should just about do it," she said as she wiped her hands on the towel.

She heard the throatiness in her own voice...the shakiness...she knew she was speaking louder than she needed too but it had just come out that way. The result of her trying to overcompensate and hide the emotions there she supposed. She didn't meet his eyes as she gathered up the empty wrappers to throw away. He hadn't moved or said anything so she snuck a quick look in his direction. It almost took her breath away when her eyes met his. He'd never been good at hiding it, actually she didn't think he'd ever really tried. The desire she saw looking back at her almost overwhelmed her and she couldn't look away.

"Manda I..." he began...his voice deeper and raspier than usual.

"Hey Ma...do we have any more chips?" the moment was interrupted by Jimmy's yell from the living room.

She sighed heavily as Michael broke eye contact and began to stand.

"You're such an idiot Jimmy...why couldn't you have kept your mouth shut?" they could hear the hushed voice of Tracey.

"What? What'd I do?" came Jimmy's response, completely unaware of what had been happening in the dining room. Once he knew that his Dad was fine, he had started playing his game.

"You ruined everything that's what," his sister whispered with a hiss. "They're finally back in the same room together and you can't manage to keep quiet for a few minutes?"

"What are you even talking about?" Jimmy asked, finally lowering his voice to match his sister's whisper. "All I did was ask if we had any chips!"

"Yeah well after all the work I put in to get them both here, you just ruined it. It was working too!"

Amanda shook her head with a slight smile. She should have known that one of the kids had been up to something. Michael wouldn't have just shown up for no reason. He had said that Tracey had insisted that he come pick her up here and for once her daughter had left her phone in another room. Then she had practically begged for Michael to let 'them' help him, only to disappear once she had started fixing his face up. She tried to hear what her kids said after that but they had both lowered their voices to the point where all she could tell was that they were arguing but couldn't make anything out.

"I guess I'd better get him his chips before he blows away," she said to Michael softly and forced a smile to her lips.

Michael laughed..."Yeah I guess so" he said before making eye contact with her again. "Thanks for...you know..." he gestured to his face.

"Of course...you don't need to thank me for that" she replied as she wrapped her arms around herself again. He nodded as he looked anywhere but at her.

"Well I guess we should get going then," he took a few steps towards the living room and glanced back at her, lifting his hand in a slight wave.

She watched as he made his way to the front door and summoned their daughter, who ran over to give her Mom a hug before following her father out the door.

With a sigh and one last longing look out the window at her departing husband and daughter, she turned to go to the kitchen to grab Jimmy a bag of chips.


	7. Chapter 7

Michael was having a hard time focusing on anything other than what had just happened between him and Amanda as he drove away from the condo. His daughter was chattering away a mile a minute in the seat next to him and every now and then he would catch something she said, but his mind would go right back to that dining room and the feel of his wife's hands on his face.

He had felt her hands shaking when she had first touched him. Then, as she got lost in what she was doing, her hand would roam along his jaw. He wasn't even sure if she was aware that she was doing it. Her hand had found its way up to his hair and he suddenly had wished that he had gotten that hair cut he had been thinking about. He knew she liked his hair short and had he known that he was going to be seeing her today he would have made himself look more presentable.

What really made him about lose it though was when her thumb had found his lip. He had been watching her, unable to look away as he saw the emotions play across her face, and when she had licked her lips it was all he could do not to pin her against the wall and find those lips with his. From the look he had seen on her face, she wouldn't have pushed him away. As soon as she became aware that he was watching her though, she had pulled away and tried to pretend nothing had happened.

He had gotten so caught up in the moment that he had been about to tell her how he felt and that he missed her when Jimmy had interrupted. He didn't know whether he had felt irritation or relief when that had happened. Maybe a little of both. He desperately wanted the moment back so he could tell his wife that he still loved her, but a fear of rejection had settled in his gut. What if she didn't feel the same way? What if he had misinterpreted everything? Maybe his own desperate desires had gotten the best of him.

"Earth to Dad...hellloooooo..." he was jolted back to reality when his daughter spoke loudly in his ear.

"Sorry Trace, I was just thinkin'. What were you saying?"

Tracey smirked, convinced that she knew what he had been thinking about.

"I was just reminding you that my birthday is next week! I was thinking maybe we could have a party at the house? You wouldn't have to worry about anything...I'd plan it all!"

He raised an eyebrow and looked over at her suspiciously.

"You'd plan your own birthday party? Isn't that a bit narcissistic?" he said in amusement.

"Ummm...well I'm not really sure what that means but it doesn't sound like a compliment" she said as she sent a glare in his direction.

He shook his head and smiled.

"Never mind, it doesn't matter. Are you sure you don't want ME to plan it? Seems like it would be kind of weird to plan your own party," he asked.

"Uh no way Dad...if I let YOU plan it I'd probably wind up with a robbery taking place mid party or there would be guns and bodies falling all over the place or..."

"Ok ok," he consented as he held up a hand to stop her, "enough already...you made your point. Although I think what you're really TRYING to say is that I'm too old to plan a party cool enough for you. I have news for you though...I'm a pretty hip guy!"

"Riiiiight...so hip that you're still using the word hip Daddy." she said with a roll of her eyes.

"Go ahead and plan your party sweetheart," he said with a grin as he pulled into their driveway, "just let me know if you need me for anything."

"Welllllll...you can start with giving me your credit card!" she said with a hopeful smile.

"Eh let's not push it kid...how about I give you some cash and if you need more you can come tell me exactly how much you need."

"Oh fine, you can be such a drag sometimes" she said as she crossed her arms and pouted while he parked.

"Ah yes...and now we're back to typical De Santa family programming" he said with a smirk as he climbed out of the vehicle.

Tracey rolled her eyes but allowed her Dad to put his arm around her shoulders and pull her close as they walked into the house together. 

* * *

><p>Tracey waited until her Dad had gone to bed before she pulled out her phone and dialed her brother's number.<p>

"Yes sister dearest," Jimmy's voice greeted her after the third ring.

"Ok listen up jerk face..."

"Ouch that hurt..."

"Would you just shut up and listen?!" Tracey said before lowering her voice to a whisper. "So I got Dad to agree to let me plan my birthday party and you're going to help."

"Wow I can't believe he fell for that. He's getting to be such a sucker in his old age...wait...what? Why do I have to help?" Jimmy whined.

"Because you're the one who screwed everything up tonight!"

"Aaaand you think that by you having a birthday party and me helping you with it...that's going to fix everything? You definitely got Dad's crazy genes," Jimmy laughed.

"No dummy, I think that bringing them back to this house and having them be around each other more will force them to remember good memories. You know...when they were happy...and we were a family."

"Yeah..." Jimmy said quietly, "that's been quite a while though sis. I barely remember a time myself when everyone was happy."

"Well then we're just going to have to make THIS the time that it starts. I'll invite all of my friends so they'll be like the only two old people there so they'll HAVE to hang out with each other. Otherwise it would be, like...awkward."

"I bet we could totally get Franklin to help...him and Dad are tight" Jimmy added, warming up to the idea.

"Ooo and Uncle Trevor!" Tracey added in excitement.

"Uhhh yeah...I'm not sure how well that would go over," Jimmy said hesitantly, "although it would definitely provide the most entertainment for the night so I say let's do it!"

They continued chatting for the next hour about ideas of who to invite, what to do for music, how they were going to force their parents to be around each other the whole time, and how to make sure their Dad and Trevor didn't kill each other. They'd never admit it to anyone but both of them were actually enjoying having a conversation with each other and having something to do together that didn't involve fighting and insults.

When they finally ended their phone call it was well after 2 AM and they were both exhausted. Tracey could hardly contain her excitement though as she pulled her blankets up to her neck and went over all of their plans in her head until she fell asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

The next week Tracey woke up to a knock on her bedroom door early on her birthday morning.

"Ugh," she groaned and rolled over to face the door.

"Come in" she mumbled into her pillow.

Her eyebrows shot up as her Dad made a grand entrance with a huge bouquet of roses and balloons and made a slight bow beside her bed.

"You got flowers? For ME?" she said in surprise as she sat up and took them from him.

"Of course! Only the best for my favorite princess on her birthday!" her father replied with a smile.

"I'm not 12 Daddy," she said with a roll of her eyes, but inside she felt like she was. Her Dad had done things like this for her when she was younger but hadn't for several years. He had been really trying in the last week though. Always ready to spend time with her whenever she was available, trying to control his temper when they fought, making breakfast and dinner without ordering in...in some ways it was like he wasn't the same man.

She looked up at him and smiled..."You shaved! And got a haircut! You look great Dad! You look more like...I don't know...you I guess."

"Thanks...I think," he replied as he narrowed his eyes as if he had to think it over. "So what are your plans for the day? Do you have everything ready for the big party?"

"Oh! I'm glad you reminded me!" she said as she leaned over to get a notepad off of the nightstand beside her bed. "I made a list of things I need you to pick up for me tonight!" She tore the top sheet out of the notebook and handed it to him.

His eyebrows seemed to go higher and higher as he read through the first side and turned it over to find more on the second.

"This is going to take all day! Who's going to help you with everything here?"

"Jimmy's coming over to help and..."

"Jimmy...OUR Jimmy? As in your brother Jimmy?" he interrupted her and looked at her skeptically.

"Yes father," she said sarcastically with an eye roll, "anyway...a couple of friends are coming over to help decorate. Oh and Franklin said he'd come help Jimmy with any of the heavy stuff."

"Franklin's coming? Why didn't I know about that?" Michael asked.

"Jimmy just talked to him about it yesterday" she lied, "he has plans but he's going to stop over for a couple of hours anyway."

"He's a good kid," her father replied as he looked over the list he had to pick up again.

Tracey was too busy smelling her flowers to answer.

Michael watched with a smile before saying "Well...it looks like I have a long day ahead of me so I'd better get started."

"Happy Birthday sweetheart," he said as he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Thanks Daddy! And thanks for the flowers...they're beautiful!" she said as she sniffed them again.

"Not as beautiful as you kiddo" he called back over his shoulder on his way out her door

As soon as she heard the front door slam, Tracey shot out of bed and got dressed in record time. She sent out a mass text message to Jimmy and Franklin and all of her friends that said they would help her get everything ready, letting them know that Michael was out of the house and the coast was clear.

She hurried down the stairs and stopped so fast that she almost slipped. When had the house gotten so clean? Did her Dad do this or did the maid come back? Who was she kidding...she didn't care...she was just happy that it was clean! That was way less work that she was going to have to do.

Ten minutes later the door opened and she heard her brother yell "Let's get this par-tay started!"

As she came around the corner, she caught him sneaking up to his room.

"Don't you even dare think about going up there to play a game!"

"Who me? Uh...no...of course not. I was just...uh...going to see if the place had changed since I've been gone. Yeah...that's all." her brother replied.

"Uh huh...yeah right" she said as she rolled her eyes and turned around to walk back into the living room.

"You know, Mom and Dad keep saying your eyes are going to stay like that if you keep rolling them all the time" he called after.

"Want me to get started on what they say about you? We could be here all day" she yelled back.

"Uh no...that's ok. I think I'm good" he said as he joined her in the living room.

They had just started discussing how they should arrange everything when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Tracey said as she ran to the door.

Now it was Jimmy's turn to roll his eyes when he heard a bunch of squeals and shrieks after she opened the door. Obviously her friends had arrived.

She returned to the living room, followed by three girls that looked around the same age as her.

"Jimmy this is my friend Amy," she said as she pointed to a tall girl with jet black hair who still had her sunglasses on. "This is Micah," the shorter brunette with blonde highlights and dark brown eyes gave a small wave. "And this is is Ashley," she ended with the short blonde with blue eyes that smiled shyly. "This is my brother Jimmy," she said to the girls.

"Hey ladies!" he said in greeting. He opened his mouth to chat more but Tracey was already on the move with all three girls right in line behind her. They were quickly moving around the house discussing what to put where, followed by Tracey calling for her brother and telling him what to do.

He glared at her as she barked out orders right and left.

"Where's Franklin? I thought he was supposed to be here to help me" he grumbled.

"He should be here anytime, he just had to stop and pick up the DJ so he could get his stuff set up." Tracey replied.

The doorbell rang just as he had finished moving the heavy stuff from the living room, and by heavy stuff he meant that he had taken all of the pillows off of the couch and thrown them in the closet.

He joined his sister at the door...

"Hey! Franklin! My homey! My brotha from another motha! My dog!" he said as he held out a fist for Franklin to bump.

Franklin just stared at him for a second before bumping his fist.

"Yeah whatever homey" he said as he shook his head.

"Is this the DJ?" Tracey asked impatiently.

"Yeah dog, this is my cousin Tavell...best in the business right here." Franklin replied as he pointed to the shorter man beside him who flashed a peace sign and a smile.

" 'Sup Dog" Jimmy leaned past Tracey for a fist bump from Tavell as well.

"Not much man, not much" Franklin's cousin replied as he grinned and shook his head but returned Jimmy's bump.

"Get out of the way Jimmy!" Tracey said in frustration! "Come on in guys" she said as she moved out of the doorway.

"Thanks so much for doing this," she said as she turned towards Tavell. "Did you download that song that I asked you too?"

"For sure but uh...country really ain't my thing..." replied the young man.

"I know I know but it's depressing and pretty much feels like my parent's lives right now. It's perfect to use tonight when they're trying to play it cool and pretend they're not watching each other" Tracey said with another eye roll.

"Well let's get crackin' then," Franklin said. "Come on cuz, let's go get your gear."

The two disappeared back out the front door with Jimmy trailing behind.

As soon as Tavell had set up his gear, he got some music going and all seven of them went to work getting everything ready. Before they knew it, everything was all set up and ready to go.

"Wow, I can't believe we got everything done so fast!" Tracey said in surprise.

"What's that they say? Many hands make light work?" Tavell grinned and bumped shoulders with Franklin.

"Thank you guys SO MUCH for all of your help! We've still got like three hours before the party starts! Just enough time to shower, get dressed, and fix my hair." Tracey said in excitement.

All four girls disappeared into Tracey's room to get ready, leaving the three boys downstairs.

"Last one in the pool is a..." Jimmy was quickly left behind as both of the other men took off running.

"...loser" he mumbled as he got to the pool and both Franklin and Tavell were already floating around.

They spent the next hour goofing off before finally getting out to get ready for the party. 

* * *

><p>Michael arrived home with an hour to spare before the party started. He stuck his head inside the door just long enough to yell "A little help out here?" His car was packed with everything from the list Tracey had given him and there was no way he was going to carry it all in himself. He glanced over his shoulder when he heard the door open behind him and all three guys walked out.<p>

"Franklin," he greeted his friend, "what are you still doing here? I thought you had plans tonight?"

"Plans? I ain't got no plans other than...," Franklin let out an 'oof' as Jimmy elbowed him in the stomach. "Hey man what the..."

"What my dude here meant to say was that his plans got pushed back until later so he's just gonna hang with us for a bit," Jimmy interrupted.

Michael looked back and forth between the two with his eyebrows raised before looking over at the third man. "And who's this?" he asked.

Tavell stepped forward and extended his hand towards Michael. "Name's Tavell..."

"He's the DJ...oh and Franklin's cousin," Jimmy's muffled voice came from the backseat of the car where he was snooping through the bags to see what his Dad had purchased.

"We have a DJ? Oh man...the neighbors are going to kill me tonight," Michael laughed as he shook the man's hand.

Franklin had already grabbed several bags and had disappeared into the house so the other three followed his lead and soon had the car unloaded.

"All this is for one party?" Franklin asked with an amused expression on his face as they all stood around the dining room table now covered with bags and boxes.

"Where's the good stuff Dad? Who eats all these veggies and dips and stuff?" Jimmy complained as he continued going through the bags.

"Your sister does," Michael replied with a laugh as they laid everything out for the party. "There's good stuff in there too though...cookies...chips...cupcakes.

By the time they had all of the food and drinks set out they had about 45 minutes before the party started, so Michael disappeared upstairs to take a shower and change clothes. He didn't know how Tracey and Amanda could shop all day long all the time, he was exhausted and never wanted to see another store in his life after today. He took his time getting ready because he figured he'd let his daughter have her moment with her friends and have fun for a bit before the chaperone appeared. He smiled to himself...who would have ever thought he would be the one that was a chaperone. Before too long the walls of his bedroom were vibrating from the music that had begun pounding from downstairs. Tracey had been very insistent that he wear the specific outfit she had laid out for him. Why he needed to wear black dress pants and a light blue button down dress shirt he didn't know. He was sure everyone else would probably be dressed much more casually, but hey...it was her birthday and he'd do whatever it took to make her happy today. He walked out of the bedroom fifteen minutes later and walked towards the stairs before he stopped when he heard all of the loud voices and giggles and decided to take a detour to the bathroom. If he was going to be surrounded by a bunch of people Tracey's age and have their music pounding into his head all night, he'd better prepare himself. He grabbed a few ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet and downed them before heading downstairs.

"You look great!" his daughter let out a shriek as she ran over and threw her arms around him.

"Whoa, slow down there sweetheart," he said with a laugh as he returned her hug.

"Thank you so much for everything Dad...this is the best night ever!" she squealed and took off back to a group of her friends.

"And it just started...imagine that" he said to himself as he wondered what he had gotten himself into. He was surprised that there was even room to walk in the house. He had assumed that his daughter would have packed the place out and had anticipated having to escape to the privacy of his car to avoid the crowd. She had actually kept it under control though...assuming she hadn't invited a ton of other people that hadn't shown up yet. He was relieved to count fewer than 20 people there at the moment. Most of them had made themselves at home around the pool or in the dining room that had been emptied of its table and chairs and was now a dance floor.

The doorbell rang but nobody else even turned their head.

"Don't worry...I got it..." he said to no one in particular with a shake of his head. As soon as he opened the door he wished that he had ignored it too.

"Hola mi compadre," Trevor greeted him loudly from behind a large box in his arms. There was a girl standing behind him holding a gift bag.

"Trevor..." Michael just stood there stunned.

"Well I have to say, I really thought you'd be a better host than this Mikey. Not even going to invite us in?"

"First of all...who is 'us'?" Michael asked as he leaned his head around Trevor to better see who was with him. The young lady appeared to be in her late teens, possibly even early 20's like Tracey.

"Oh uh...this is my sister's kid Naomi," Trevor awkwardly gestured towards the girl.

"So...your niece..." Michael prompted with a roll of his eyes.

"Right...yeah...my niece. I uh...well I didn't really know what to get Tracey for her birthday so I needed to call in backup." Trevor muttered.

Michael shook his head in amusement and stepped aside to let them into the house.

"Well it's nice to meet you Naomi. I didn't know T had a niece but then again I didn't know he had a family period. We just all assumed he was sent back from another planet that didn't want him." Michael laughed at his own joke.

"Hardy har har chuckles" Trevor said with a glare as he pushed past Michael.

"Uncle Trevor! Hey!" Jimmy had wandered into the room.

"Hey kid" Trevor replied.

Jimmy waved him into the other room, saying that Tracey was outside by the pool and would want to see him. Naomi nodded at Michael and followed her uncle out to the pool side. Michael could hear Jimmy quizzing her about what it was like to really be related to Trevor as they walked away.

He ran a hand down his face, already feeling tired. This was going to be a lot longer night than he had originally anticipated.


	9. Chapter 9

"Where's Mom at? She was supposed to be here like a half hour ago" Tracey hissed at Jimmy in frustration.

"Uh I dunno..." Jimmy looked around as if she was going to randomly appear. "...maybe she got lost?"

"Oww!" he rubbed his head after Tracey had slapped her hand up the side.

"You're such an idiot sometimes. She hasn't been gone THAT long that she wouldn't remember where she has lived for years." she said as she crossed her arms.

"Geez, I was just kidding Trace...chill out," Jimmy repplied with a scowl.

"Well I wish she'd hurry up. I kinda feel bad...he looks like wants to be anywhere but here right now," Tracey said as she peeked around the corner at her dad.

"That's because Uncle T's been ranting about some sort of government conspiracy for the last half hour" Jimmy said with a laugh, "if he wasn't already crazy before then he's definitely going to be crazy after listening to that all night."

* * *

><p>Michael rolled his head back and stared up at the ceiling, mentally counting to 10. He had been leaning against the counter listening to Trevor talk nonsense for at least a half hour but it felt more like 3 hours. He had zoned out about 15 minutes ago but Trevor hadn't seemed to notice, if anything he seemed to be getting himself more and more amped up as his arms flailed around him while he paced back and forth. Between that and the constant thumping of the bass from the music playing, he felt like he was literally going to go insane. He should have insisted that he made the playlist...or at least provided some input. He laughed to himself as he massaged the back of his neck...yeah...that would have gone over real well. He glanced around the house as he pretended to nod in agreement with whatever Trevor was talking about. He should have known that he had been only dreaming when he had thought that Tracey had kept the invite list small earlier. He wasn't sure, but he would guess there was around 50 people spread out around the house and outside by the pool and tennis courts now. He wondered if he went over and started playing some of HIS music...the good stuff...the classics...how much of the crowd would thin out. It was tempting.<p>

"Can you believe that Mikey? Can you? I should have killed him right then. ARGH!" Trevor let out a yell of frustration that made Michael jump and refocus his attention.

He could have hugged Franklin when he walked up and asked what they were talking about. Not because Trevor started his entire rant all over again, but because his focus had now shifted to Franklin.

When the doorbell rang Michael literally leapt away from the counter.

"I'll get it!" he yelled as he hurried towards the door, mentally thanking whoever it was for rescuing him.

He opened the door and his words got caught in his throat.

"Amanda...hi" he finally got the words to come out. He couldn't help himself as his eyes moved from her eyes down to her toes and back up again. He was pretty sure she had never looked as beautiful as she did tonight standing there in a royal blue dress that clung to her in all the right places.

"Oh...Michael! Hello..." she looked startled but recovered quickly as she smiled her greeting and dipped her head.

She looked nervous as her fingers kept playing with the rings on her hand. He was surprised to see that she still wore her wedding ring. He had assumed that it was long gone. There had been plenty of times before when he had pointedly mentioned that he had noticed that she wasn't wearing it. Of course he didn't have much room to argue because she simply pointed out that he didn't wear it all the time either. Funny...he hadn't been able to bring himself to take it off since though.

"You look beautiful" he said softly as he let his eyes move over her again, taking in every detail.

"Thank you...y-you look good," she said as she watched him. "I always did love that color of blue on you. It brings out your eyes." She dipped her head in embarrassement, looking very much like she didn't mean for all of that to come out.

Neither one of them moved as they watched each other, each soaking in the presence of the other while acutely aware of the tension and awkwardness that hung heavily between them.

They were jerked back to reality when Trevor sauntered up.

"Amanda...always a pleasure of course. Wowza!" he said as his eyes moved down her body, noticeably stopping at the low cut in the front. "Well worth the investment Michael..." he said as he slapped his friend on the back and gave an exaggerated wink.

Amanda rolled her eyes at the comment. She watched in curiosity as the muscle in Michael's jaw began to twitch as he looked up at the ceiling for several moments. She knew what the usually signaled and was impressed that he was maintaining his cool, rather than losing control with Trevor right now. Judging by the set of his jaw and that twitch...he was definitely struggling.

Trevor just looked back and forth between them with a grin on his face, as if he knew exactly what he had done and how Michael would react. He raised an eyebrow as he waited patiently for a reaction. When Michael just stared at the ceiling and silence hung in the air for just a bit too long, he finally nodded his head with an impressed look on his face.

"Huh...whaddya know. Well what are you waiting for? You going to stand out here and make googly eyes at each other all night or are we going to bust out some te-qui-la" he said, emphasizing each part of the alcoholic drink as he wandered away.

"There's tequila at Tracey's birthday party?" Amanda said with disapproval as she looked at Michael with a raised eyebrow.

"Not even a drop" Michael replied as he rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. "You know Trevor...he's...well...he's Trevor."

"Mom! You made it!" Tracey ran up and gave her Mom an excited hug.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Amanda said apologetically, "I..."

Tracey waved off the rest of her apology.

"You're here, that's all that matters. That dress looks HOT doesn't it Dad?"

"Tracey stop" her Mom said, shaking her head in embarrassement.

"What? It does! I say if you got it, flaunt it...and you've got it," she said with a smirk as she turned to her Dad and looked at him expectantly, still waiting on his answer.

"Hey when she's right, she's right," he said with a cocky smile that was an attempt to hide how uncomfortable he felt. He knew what his daughter was doing and it wasn't that he didn't want her plans to succeed...he just didn't know how he was supposed to act around Amanda anymore. He knew he wanted her back more than anything he'd ever wanted in his life. He knew he still loved her and he knew the desire that weighed heavily on him right now. What he didn't know though was how to get rid of the awkward, uncomfortable reality that was the fact that they hadn't talked to each other for two months. That last week was the first time they had looked into each other's eyes and heard each others voice in that time. How do you turn back time and take back words that were said...things that were done? He wondered if it was even possible. He knew the end game he wanted...he wanted his wife back. His family back. His life back. He just didn't know how to get there yet.

Tracey grinned as she kissed her Mom on the cheek and wandered back to her circle of friends.

* * *

><p>Amanda watched her daughter rejoin her friends, laughing at something that one of the girls said to her. A slightly uncomfortable silence had fallen as she had left. She didn't know what to say to Michael when it was just the two of them. She knew what she WANTED to say...but couldn't quite find the words. She wanted to tell him how sorry she was for her actions and that she wanted to come home. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't true when she had said she didn't love him and would divorce him if she could. The problem was that even though she wanted to say all that and she truly felt that way, there was also still a little part of her that resented him still. A part that wanted him to apologize to her first for the ways that he had hurt her. For being the first one to cheat...amongst many other things. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she winced at the reality of her thoughts.<p>

"You want a drink?" her husband finally asked her as he walked towards the kitchen. "Wine? Bourbon? Whiskey?"

"I thought you said there wasn't any alcohol at the party?" she asked as she followed him.

"Au contraire," he said as he wagged a finger in the air, "I said there wasn't any TEQUILA in the house."

She rolled her eyes but allowed a smile to sneak across her face.

"So what'll it be?" he said as he opened a cupboard.

"How about some whiskey" she said as she nervously drummed her fingers on the countertop and glanced back at the rest of the crowded house.

He froze and his head reappeared around the open cupboard door.

"Since when do you drink whiskey?" he asked quietly, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Since...I...it...I don't know. I guess...I guess I just started because...," her voice trailed off as she focused on her fingers that had spread across the cool counter.

"Because?" he waited, one hand still up in the cupboard, frozen on the glass he had been reaching for.

"...it just...it reminds me of you I guess," she finally admitted quietly.

She didn't look up until she heard him pouring the whiskey into two glasses.

Michael handed her one of the glasses and she took a sip as he leaned against the counter and watched her quietly.

"So..." her husband cleared his throat, "how's..."

Whatever he had been about to say was interrupted by the crash of something shattering outside. Michael sighed before throwing his head back and downing his half full glass of whiskey in one shot.

"I uh...I guess I should go check that out," he said as his glass hit the counter with a thud that expressed his frustration.

"Right..." she said with a small smile, still holding drink.

* * *

><p>Michael stomped his way towards the doors that led outside. He wasn't sure if he was thankful for the interruption or not. Part of him wanted to see where the conversation with Amanda would have lead. The other part didn't want to have that conversation. At least not right here...now. He hadn't been sure what to say when she had requested whiskey. She had always hated the taste of it before...or so she had said anyway. She'd drink it if she was desperate, but it was definitely low on her list of choices. What did that say about her right now? Was she desperate? If so, for what? Him? He'd like to think so but he wasn't going to let himself get carried away with wishful thinking.<p>

He made his way through the crowd outside to find the source of the sound he had heard. He was surprised that he had even been able to hear it with how loud the music had been all night. His head jerked as he realized that at some point the music must have changed. It was no longer the heavy beat of the various dance and hip hop tracks, but now was a slower and quieter song. Huh...maybe Tracey was trying to 'set the mood.' He was going to have to keep a closer eye on things out here. He knew he must have looked ticked off because anyone that was in his path quickly darted out of the way when they looked up and saw his face. He made the mental effort to erase the scowl from his face.

"We've got it all under control Pop," Jimmy appeared in front of him with his hands up as if to stop him.

"What exactly do you have under control Jim?" Michael crossed his arms as he came to a stop in front of his son.

"Not a big deal, don't get your blood pressure up. One of the guys just bumped into the light and knocked it over. Franklin's cleaning it up right now."

"Franklin eh? Why exactly is Franklin cleaning it up instead of you?"

"I'm doing damage control...stopping you before you do some damage" Jimmy smirked as if he thought he had just made a funny joke.

Michael peeked around Jimmy's shoulder, satisfied to see that Franklin had indeed cleaned everything up and was giving him a thumbs up sign.

"Alright well...try to keep it under control out here will ya?" he grumbled.

"No worries Pops...everything is going A-ok" Jimmy said as he physically turned his father and pushed him back towards the house.

* * *

><p>Amanda groaned when Trevor appeared in the kitchen. She had forgotten he was there since she hadn't seen him after his initial greeting.<p>

"What's this? No alcohol for Trevor?" he asked as his eyes made the quick trip up and down her figure again before stopping at the drink in her hand.

She didn't answer, just gestured to the cupboard for him to get his own glass.

"Boy I tell ya...hospitality ain't what it used to be. I could have sworn that once upon a time the owner of the home offered to serve the guest" he grumbled as he reached for a glass.

Amanda let out a sharp laugh in response.

"Well there's your answer then, I'm a guest here just like you."

Trevor raised his eyebrows, as if he was surprised by her response.

"A little overdramatic are we?" he said as he grabbed the bottle of whiskey and looked back and forth between the bottle and his glass before deciding to drink straight from the bottle.

Amanda watched with a disgusted look on her face, thankful that she still had some whiskey in her glass and wouldn't be taking a refill. At least not from that bottle. She tried not to shudder at the thought.

"Well you would be the expert on being overdramatic Trevor" she said in irritation.

"Hostility...I like it!" he growled as he wiggled his eyebrows and took another drink.

Amanda glared at him before looking around for Michael. Her eyes found him by the door in the dining room that led to the pool area. He was talking to some young man that she didn't recognize. She was surprised when a genuine smile actually broke across his face as he talked. She hadn't seen that in a long time. She had forgotten what a great smile he had. It really softened up his face...made him more welcoming.

Some pop song was playing and it annoyed her how much the lyrics could have been about her. She wasn't even sure when she had started paying attention to the song. Maybe it was when she had started trying to ignore Trevor who was still beside her...creeping her out as she knew he was watching her.

_I don't know if I can yell any louder_  
><em>How many time I've kicked you outta here?<em>  
><em>Or said something insulting?<em>

_I can be so mean when I wanna be_  
><em>I am capable of really anything<em>  
><em>I can cut you into pieces<em>  
><em>When my heart is broken<em>

Amanda winced as she listened to the song. It made her think of how many remarks she'd made about Michael gaining weight or how much she'd talked about how young Fabian made her feel.

_How did I become so obnoxious?_  
><em>What is it with you that makes me act like this?<em>  
><em>I've never been this nasty<em>

_Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?_  
><em>The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest<em>

She took in a deep breath. That was exactly what it had been. A contest...who could hit the hardest. Who could inflict the most pain. So stupid and pointless when she thought about it now. She breathed a sigh of relief when the song ended.

"I'd give ya a penny for your thoughts but you don't need the penny...plus I'm not really sure they're worth that kind of cash" Trevor said from beside her as he let out a belch.

"Ugh really Trevor? You are so gross" she said as she took a few steps away.

He let out a laugh before moving beside her again and facing the dining room. She glanced over and saw his eyes traveling through the crowd.

"Ahh..." he said, as if he had discovered some secret.

"What?" she snapped out in irritation.

"Oh nothing...forget about the penny thing. I don't need to pay...I know what you were thinking."

"Oh really? Please do tell Dr. Phil" she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

"Doesn't take a Dr. to figure that out Amanda" he said, emphasizing every part of her name. "I would diagnose a case of the hubby blues. Unless of course you're shopping around for even younger merchandise these days."

"I hate you...you know that right?" she replied.

"I think we've made our mutual admiration of each other quite clear through the years...yes." Trevor smiled sarcastically.

* * *

><p>Michael groaned as he looked across the room into the kitchen and saw Trevor standing beside Amanda. If looks could kill, Trevor would have been dead 10 times over already. He could only imagine that conversation happening right now. He would have walked over and rescued her but this young guy had stopped him and asked him about his movie collection that he had seen. Michael was only too happy to discuss his favorite movies with someone who seemed to be equally passionate about them. That was rare to find these days...especially in someone as young as this kid. He didn't have the heart to end the conversation and walk away, to be honest...he really didn't want too. He was enjoying it.<p>

He did get distracted though when Amanda's eyes locked on his from across the room. He couldn't help it, the kid's voice just kind of faded away. All he heard was the song that was playing. It had thrown him because it was a song from HIS era of music. In fact, he was distracted for a moment wondering why in the world it was on Tracey's playlist at her party.

_I got the call today that I didn't wanna hear_  
><em>But I knew that it would come<em>  
><em>An old, true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone<em>  
><em>She said you'd found someone<em>

_And I thought of all the bad luck_  
><em>And the struggles we went through<em>  
><em>And how I lost me and you lost you<em>

_What are these voices outside love's open door_  
><em>Make us throw off our contentment<em>  
><em>And beg for something more?<em>

_I'm learning to live without you now_  
><em>But I miss you sometimes<em>  
><em>The more I know, the less I understand<em>  
><em>All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again<em>

_I've been tryin' to get down  
><em>_To the heart of the matter but my will gets weak_  
><em>And my thoughts seem to scatter...<em>

He'd always had a love/hate relationship with this song. It had long been one of his favorites, but the stupid thing even made HIM emotional. He hadn't heard it in a while though and he was struck with the reality of the lyrics. Funny how much harder they hit him when he was staring into the eyes of his wife, unsure if she loved him anymore...just like the lyrics said.

_...the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness_  
><em>They're the very things we kill I guess<em>  
><em>Ohh, pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms<em>  
><em>And the work I put between us<em>  
><em>You know it doesn't keep me warm<em>

_There are people in your life who've come and gone_  
><em>They let you down, you know they hurt your pride<em>  
><em>You better put it all behind you baby, 'cause' life goes on<em>  
><em>If you keep carryin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside, baby<em>

_I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter_  
><em>Because the flesh will get weak and the ashes will scatter<em>  
><em>So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness, forgiveness<em>  
><em>Even if, even if you don't love me<em>

Wasn't that exactly what had happened in his life? He had let his work get between them, or rather his depression over the loss of his work. Then this whole thing recently...that had hurt his pride. Yeah...finding out your wife has been sleeping around with not one but TWO other men and everyone seemed to know but you...yeah that will definitely deal a blow to your pride. He'd definitely been carrying that anger and letting it eat him up inside. Truth was, he HAD been thinking about forgiveness. Not just giving it, but also asking for it. He knew he'd screwed up. He'd love to be able to cast all the blame at his wife's tiny feet, but he needed to own up to his part in it.

"So uh...would you mind?" the young man was asking when Michael snapped back to the conversation.

"Ah sorry...mind what again?" he asked apologetically.

"If I watch that movie in your living room. I have a couple of friends that haven't seen it and I was hoping I could show them my favorite part."

"Sure, knock yourself out kid" Michael said as he waved him towards the living room.

Michael let out a sharp whistle.

"Hey...T..." he yelled across the room and waved the other man towards him.

* * *

><p>Amanda could have kissed her husband right then and there. She knew he had only done it to rescue her from the torment Trevor had been putting her through. Trevor knew it too, judging by his wink and cheeky grin as he walked towards Michael.<p>

She let out a shaky sigh as she decided to wander outside to see what was happening there. She hadn't been expecting the intense feeling of remorse that hit her as she walked over the spot that she had always done her yoga. She didn't have to close her eyes to see the scene by the pool replaying itself in her mind.

She could hear an Elton John song playing in the background...

_What have I got to do to make you love me_  
><em> What have I got to do to make you care<em>  
><em> What do I do when lightning strikes me<em>  
><em> And I wake to find that you're not there<em>

_What do I do to make you want me_  
><em> What have I got to do to be heard<em>  
><em> What do I say when it's all over<em>  
><em> And sorry seems to be the hardest word<em>

Seriously...what had gotten into her daughter? She was normally listening to Kesha, Robin Thicke, or Drake and would rant in disgust whenever any music prior to 2013 was played. Now she was playing Elton John at her birthday party?

Amanda shook her head in amusement. Some days she was convinced that she would never truly understand her kids or how their minds worked. She smiled as the next song started...this sounded much more like her daughter. Her smile slowly faded as the chorus announced itself.

_It was always you_  
><em> Can't believe I could not see it all this time, all this time<em>  
><em> It was always you<em>  
><em> Now I know why my heart wasn't satisfied, satisfied<em>  
><em> It was always you, you<em>  
><em> No more guessing who<em>  
><em> Looking back now I know it was always you, always you<em>

Her hand reached up to cover the trembling chin. Why had she lost sight of that fact? It had always been Michael. She thought she had found satisfaction in Fabian but it was just a mirage. There for a moment and gone as soon as she reached it. How had she been so blind? She sat down in one of the poolside chairs, struck at the sense of deja vu that came over her for a moment.

_You never looked so good  
><em>_As you did last night_  
><em>Underneath the city lights<em>  
><em>There walking with your friend<em>  
><em>Laughing at the moon<em>  
><em>I swear you looked right through me<em>  
><em>But I'm still living with your goodbye<em>  
><em>And you're just going on with your life<em>

_How can you just walk on by  
><em>_Without one tear in your eye?_  
><em> Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?<em>  
><em> Maybe that's just your way<em>  
><em> Of dealing with the pain<em>  
><em> Forgetting everything between our rise and fall<em>  
><em> Like we never loved at all<em>

The next song started and Amanda shook her head in frustration. Why was Tracey playing all of these depressing songs at her party? Were they only depressing to her? Her jaw dropped slightly as realization dawned on her that her emotions were being manipulated a little by her daughter tonight. She needed to get out of here. Was everyone in on it? Had Tracey told all of her guests her master plan to get her parents back together? Was that what this was even about or was it a plan to humiliate her? Did Michael know about it? She put her head down and let out a slow breath, determined that she was going to walk up to her daughter and wish her happy birthday, tell her goodnight, and make a graceful exit.

* * *

><p>When the next song began playing, Michael found himself getting irritated. He hadn't realized it for a few songs, but it had become obvious what they all had in common. Each portrayed an idiot that had let their love slip away and realized it now that they were gone. He walked outside to find his daughter, determined to let her know exactly what he thought of her now obvious plot. He froze when he saw his wife sitting beside the pool with her head down.<p>

_You, I hear you're doing fine_  
><em> Seems like you're doing well<em>  
><em> As far as I can tell<em>  
><em> Time is leaving us behind<em>  
><em> Another week has passed<em>  
><em> And still I haven't laughed yet<em>  
><em> So tell me what your secret is?<em>  
><em> To letting go, letting go like you did, like you did<em>

_Did you forget the magic?_  
><em> Did you forget the passion?<em>  
><em> Did you ever miss me<em>

When she lifted her eyes and met his, almost as if she sensed him there, his breath caught in his throat. He knew immediately she wanted to run away. Not that he blamed her, he wanted to escape too. He was a little angry at his daughter for what he knew she had to have planned, but he couldn't help but feel bad that they had put her in the position that she felt like SHE had to be the one to repair her parent's relationship.

He had been just about to take a step towards his wife when he heard his daughter shriek in laughter on the other side of the crowd. His anger go the best of him and he took large steps to get to where she was.

"Tracey...we need to talk. NOW." he said as he grabbed her arm and began to lead her away.

"Dad? What's going on?" she asked, seeing the anger on his face but unsure of what had caused it.

"Don't go playing miss innocent with me," he said louder than he had intended.

"Dad what are you talking about? You're scaring me..." she said as her voice trailed off.

Michael stopped and took a deep breath before facing her with his hands on his hips.

"Did you think that your Mom and I wouldn't realize what you were doing tonight? Did ya think it wouldn't be obvious when it's your BIRTHDAY PARTY and every song you've been playing for the last hour has been some depressing crap about broken hearts and lost loves?" he said, his frustration building as he spoke until he finally ended in a roar.

Tracey's jaw dropped and she stood there in shock for several moments before trying to form words but failing.

Michael huffed as he turned away from his daughter.

"My daughter at a loss for words...I never thought I'd see the day" he said sarcastically. He regretted his outburst a little when he turned back around to face her and saw tears forming in her eyes.

"I just wanted us to be a family again Daddy!" she cried out.

"By humiliating us in front of everyone?! Did everyone here know about your pathetic parents and your broken home? Were they all in on the plan? huh? What about Trevor and Franklin? Were they laughing at us while everyone watched us like we were a movie playing out right in front of them?" he found himself raising his voice again.

Tracey covered her face in her hands and burst into tears as she ran from the room towards the stairs, escaping to her bedroom.

Michael sighed as he ran a hand down his face. Why could he not catch a break? He was starting to get sick of all of this.

He stepped back outside to where he had last seen his wife and she was gone. He walked up to Jimmy who was standing by the pool.

"Hey bud, have you seen your Mom anywhere?"

"Uh yeah, " Jimmy replied as he looked towards the steps that led down to the driveway. "She uh...she said she wasn't feeling well and that she needed to head home. She said to tell you thanks for the drink."

"Of course she did," Michael replied with another sigh before walking back inside to pour himself a glass of whiskey.

****  
>This was a long one! At least it seemed so in comparison with the other chapters! So sorry for the wait! I've written and re-written this probably 5 times at least, never really feeling satisfied with it and changing my mind constantly about how I wanted it to play out. lol I'm not really sure I am happy with it this time either but I finally got sick of doing it over and over again and just decided to stick with it this time. :) I know, I know...they can't seem to catch a break. :) Sorry for the many song quotes (all in italics) but it seemed fitting since they were at a party with music playing constantly and Tracey's plot to get them back together. These are the songs as quoted in order...<strong>

**Please Don't Leave Me by Pink**  
><strong>Heart of the Matter by Don Henley<strong>  
><strong>Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word by Elton John<strong>  
><strong>It Was Always You by Maroon 5<strong>  
><strong>Like We Never Loved At All by Faith Hill &amp; Tim McGraw (which obviously inspired the title for the story)<strong>  
><strong>**<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

Michael slammed back his third glass of whiskey in less than 10 minutes. He was pretty sure he had seen Trevor drinking from the bottle but at this point he didn't care. He just wanted to take the edge off. He'd probably throw up when he thought about it later he thought to himself with a laugh. This was NOT how he had seen this night going in his mind. Then again this night had been full of surprises all around. He had been surprised that Franklin was there, he had been REALLY surprised when Trevor had walked in, and he really didn't think that Amanda would be comfortable being at the house for Tracey's party. So naturally that had shocked him as well. He winced when he thought of Tracey, he had really screwed that up. He hadn't intended to lose his temper with her but he was so angry that he couldn't rein himself in. It wasn't even that he was angry at his daughter, not fully anyway. He was angry at a lot of different things and people. He was still angry at Trevor for his stupid comments earlier. He was angry with Franklin because he had assumed Franklin had known about all of this and hadn't warned him. He was angry at Jimmy because he had no doubt that he had been Tracey's sidekick. He was angry at Tracey for humiliating him and Amanda. He was angry at Amanda for taking off without even saying anything. If he admitted it he was still angry with her for cheating. Probably more than anything else though, he was angry at himself. He was angry that he had yelled at his daughter, he was angry that he hadn't said the things he had wanted to say to his wife, he was angry that he had screwed up with the stupid stripper, he was angry that his life had fallen apart. He was just...angry.

He tilted his head back and let the last gulp of whiskey trickle it's way down his throat as he closed his eyes.

"You hidin' in here feelin' sorry for yourself again?" Franklin's voice interrupted his moment.

Michael clenched his jaw as he turned towards his friend.

"And why would I be feeling sorry for myself Franklin? Couldn't be because I was the laughingstock of this whole party could it? Nah...that couldn't be it." he said sarcastically as he let out a humorless laugh. "Oh wait...maybe it's because my wife took off and probably thinks I set this whole thing up to make her looks stupid! Is that it?"

Franklin rolled his eyes as Michael waved his arms in dramatic gestures as he spoke.

"If you're that worried about it, then why don't you just drive over to her place and tell her that you had nothin' to do with it" he said as he grabbed the bottle of whiskey from Michael's hand, convinced that he'd had enough.

"Hey! What're you doin'" Michael exclaimed with only a slight slur of his words as he reached for the bottle again.

"I'm savin' you from makin a fool out of yourself when you go talk to your wife" Franklin replied calmly as he put the whiskey back in the cupboard.

"Who said I'm going anywhere?" Michael asked.

Franklin simply turned his head to look at him with a skeptical look on his face.

"Ahhh fine..." Michael said, his voice raspy. He reached for his car keys on the counter.

"Ohh no...no no...that ain't happenin'" Franklin said as he snatched the keys from Michael's hand.

"What the...what are you doin' F? I thought you just told me to go talk to Amanda?" Michael said, now getting irritated.

"I did and you are...but I'm drivin you there." Franklin replied as he led the way towards the door.

"Oh come on F...you can't be serious. I haven't had THAT much to drink" Michael laughed as he followed.

"You ain't drunk, but you definitely ain't sober man" Franklin said as he shook his head.

Michael rolled his eyes as he walked to the passenger side of his car and climbed in.

Silence fell in the car as Franklin drove out onto the street. Michael content with not talking and just letting his head rest against the seat with his eyes closed. Franklin unsure if he wanted to open the can of worms that would be a discussion about what had happened tonight.

"So uh...you know your daughter didn't mean nothin' by tonight right man?" he hesitantly approached the subject. "She thought she was helping is all."

"Yeah yeah...I know," Michael replied with a sigh, his eyes still closed.

"So you just got mad for the fun of it then?" Franklin asked sarcastically.

"It does have a certain appeal to it" Michael let a slight smile escape before turning serious. "Look F...I know she was trying to help. I know she wants everyone to be together again. But tonight...it..." he sighed again in frustration. "You can't just snap your fingers and everything changes. These are people's lives and hearts at play here. MY life...MY heart. I can appreciate what you guys were trying to do, but do me a favor and don't do me any favors like that anymore. You can't fix my mistakes."

Franklin shook his head in amusement. "Man I don't know whether to be impressed that you want to fix things yourself or be disgusted that you're such a fool sometimes."

"Only sometimes eh? I must be making progress then," Michael smirked.

Franklin looked over and grinned as he pulled into Amanda's driveway.

"If you ain't out in a half hour, then I'm just gonna assume that either you're dead or you're making up for lost time. Either way...I'm gone in 30 minutes." Franklin said as he eyed the condo in front of him.

"Ah shut up F" Michael mumbled as he exited the vehicle.

* * *

><p>Amanda had been home for about 20 minutes and hadn't made it very far. She had let herself collapse in tears as soon as she made it to her couch. She felt like such a fool. What had she been thinking going back to the house for the party? She wanted to be there to celebrate her daughter's birthday but she should have known that nothing good would come from going back to that house. She didn't know what hurt more...her pride or her heart. Her pride hurt when she thought of everyone at that party watching her and Michael...waiting to see if they would react to the master plan. It hurt when she wondered if it was truly her daughter's plan or if perhaps Michael had been the mastermind behind it. Maybe he had wanted to see her squirm under the microscope. Perhaps he wanted to remind her of what she had done and how much she had hurt him. Well screw him! He had hurt her too! He deserved to be under the microscope just as much as her! She couldn't help it though...her heart hurt because of the many things left unspoken between her and her husband. She knew he still had feelings for her...she could see it in his eyes when he looked at her. They must not have been strong enough to push him to say anything though because here they were...over two months later...still far apart and unyielding.<p>

She got up to get herself a drink. She never drank whiskey when her and Michael were together, not unless she was desperate anyway. She had been honest with Michael back at the house...she drank it now because it reminded her of him. She drank it tonight because it numbed the pain from him. She had just poured her third glass when she heard a car pull up. She hesitated, wondering if maybe Jimmy had left the party early because she had left. She hoped not, she didn't want him to bring his night to an end just because she was being pathetic. She knew it wasn't him as soon as the heavy thumps of someone knocking on the door broke the silence.

Cautiously she opened the door a crack and peeked out to see who it was.

"Michael!" she said in surprise, completely shocked to see him standing on her doorstep.

"Hey Amanda..." he said as he gave an uncomfortable smile. "Can I uh...can I come in?" he asked after they had just stood there staring at each other for what seemed like minutes but was only seconds.

"Oh...of course...I'm sorry" she said as she backed away from the door. "Wh...what are you doing here?"

"Well you left in kind of a hurry and I didn't get the chance to talk to you..." his voice trailed off as he let his gaze roam around the living room.

"Yeah well...it was for the best," she replied as she took her glass out to the kitchen to leave it in the sink.

"Soooo...our daughter..." he said with a small smile, "quite the mastermind our girl."

Amanda looked at him with narrowed eyes, as if she was trying to tell if he was hiding something from her.

"You know I had nothing to do with that right? You have to know that," Michael said in disbelief as he looked at her. "I was just as blindsided as you were...it was humiliating!"

She finally looked away with a sigh, seemingly satisfied that he had indeed been as shocked as she had been.

"What are we going to do with her?" she asked with a smile.

"Lock her in her room for a month? Is that legal?" Michael replied with a laugh.

"Since when do you worry about legal?" she asked as a smirk worked it's way onto her face.

"Point taken," Michael said as he scratched his jaw where stubble had began to form again.

Silence fell for a few minutes this time as they watched each other.

"Michael..."

"Manda I..."

They both began at the same time and each abruptly stopped.

"Sorry, you go first," Michael said as he waved his arm, gesturing for her to proceed.

"No...you go ahead," Amanda replied as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

Michael sighed as he wiped a hand down his face and started to pace back and forth in her living room.

"Look...I screwed up Mandy. I know that now. I...I'm the one who's to blame for everything that's happened...everything fallin' apart. If I had been a better husband to you..."

"It wasn't just you," she interrupted. "I messed up too Michael. I'm not going to lie to you and pretend that finding out that you had been with that stripper didn't break me and motivate my actions, but they were still choices that I made. Wrong choices."

"I...I know I hurt you. I don't know what I was thinkin'. I wish I could give you an explanation but I can't. It was just plain stupidity and letting myself get way more drunk than I should have and...it doesn't matter. It was stupid and it didn't mean anything. I know it's a lot to ask...but can you forgive me Manda? Not just for that...for...everything." Michael had stopped pacing and was staring at her.

Amanda didn't know what to say. She had never thought that Michael would EVER apologize, let alone ask for her forgiveness. She must have waited a moment too long because his eyes left her face and sank to the floor as he reached up and began to rub the back of his neck.

"It...it's me that should be asking for forgiveness Michael. I said horrible things and did horrible things and blamed all of my actions on you. I should have found another way to get your attention...I should have tried...I don't know...something...anything. Instead I convinced myself that I hated you and that you deserved it. I think because it made me feel better about my actions to think that you caused it," she couldn't even look him in the eye. "I want you to know that the things that I said...they weren't true Michael. I...I don't hate you...I couldn't. I was definitely angry, and there were moments where I really disliked you...but I never hated you. I never wanted a divorce. I...I just wanted your attention. I wanted you to look at me the way you had when we were first married. I wanted you to want me like you did then. I..." she hadn't even realized that she had begun pacing herself until then.

When she turned and finally met Michael's eyes, she found him staring at her with such an intensity that she couldn't look away.

Her mouth went dry. Her eyes never left Michael's and he suddenly started walking towards her.

Her hands shakily found the wall behind her and she backed up until she was against it. She took a deep breath to try to settle down the emotions that were swirling around her, making her feel dizzy and unsteady. He didn't stop until he was inches away from her.

"Amanda..." he breathed out her name as his eyes focused on her lips.

"Michael I..." they were so close that her breath grazed his lips when she said his name.

That was all it took...the next thing she knew Michael had pinned her against the wall and his lips had claimed hers. Her knees went weak and buckled slightly underneath her but Michael's strong arms went around her and lifted her up, still pinning her against the wall. She couldn't stop the groan that escaped her lips and she wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms grabbing hold of the back of his head as she pulled him closer, unable to get enough of him. They both pulled away slightly, breathing heavily.

"I've missed this Manda...I've missed you," he murmured softly...his breath a whisper across her skin.

"I've missed you too Michael...so much. I...I'm so sorry for everything. I was so stupid...I..."

"shhh..." he interrupted her, "It's done...it's in the past. We've both made mistakes. I...I just want to start over...move on."

Amanda's eyes filled with tears as she put a hand on each side of his face, her thumbs gently stroking his skin.

"I want that too" she replied

Michael couldn't take it...everything was messing with his senses. He felt completely disoriented and thrown off balance. He was completely aware of her legs wrapped around him. One of his hands on the bare skin of her thigh where her dress had ridden up, the other arm wrapped around her waist supporting her. He watched her eyes wander towards the hallway where he assumed her bedroom was before coming back to meet his. That was all the encouragement he needed as he pushed away from the wall and made his way up the steps as his lips found the side of her neck. The fact that she moaned his name only made him hurry faster down the hall.

She had his shirt unbuttoned before he had even closed the door behind him and he made short work of her dress. He had missed the touch of her hands, the smoothness of her skin. He lost himself in re-discovering her body.

She breathed him in like it was her last breath. She had missed everything about him...the touch of his hands...the way he always kissed the spot just below her ear and made her lose control...his scent...she inhaled deeply as he laid her gently on the bed.

They were both breathing heavily when they finally fell apart and laid there trying to catch their breath. Amanda rolled on to her side, her hand moving to rest on Michael's chest as her eyes took inventory of his body...taking notice of each scar that had taken up residence there. She relished in the goosebumps that appeared on his skin as her hand gently moved over each mark, smiling at the thought that she still had that effect on him.

His head turned towards her and he moved to gently kiss her forehead.

"I've missed you so much sweetheart," he whispered.

"I've missed you too," she said as she rested her head on his shoulder and her fingers began to play with the soft hair on his chest that was beginning to gray.

"Will you come back to the house with me tomorrow? It's not a home without you." he said softly.

She just nodded against his chest, thankful for the chance to be a family again.

"We're going to make it this time Manda, things are going to be different."

She just hugged him tighter and they fell asleep holding each other tightly as if they were afraid they would wake up and it was a dream.

* * *

><p>Franklin had arrived back at the De Santa house and couldn't help the smile on his face. Contrary to what he had told Michael, he actually waited for 45 minutes...just in case. When he hadn't heard any yelling or gunshots and Michael hadn't reappeared...he had decided it was time for him to leave.<p>

By the time he had arrived back at the party, there was only a couple of people left at the house that were just finishing cleaning up. Tracey had rejoined the party after Jimmy had told her that their parents were both gone. When Franklin found her inside he must have had a bigger grin on his face than he realized because she looked at him suspiciously when he walked up.

"What?" she asked him.

"What do you mean what?" he replied.

"You've got a ridiculous grin on your face...that means you're up to something."

"Well let's just say I know somethin' you don't know," he teased with a laugh.

She just raised an eyebrow and waited expectantly.

"Guess where I just got back from" he said...drawing out his teasing a little longer.

"Umm...how would I know?" she said with light irritation. She was still in a bit of a bad mood after her exchange with her father.

"Your mother's house...where I dropped off your father." he said as his grin grew even bigger.

"Are you sure they didn't kill each other?!" she said as her jaw dropped.

"Well I didn't go knock on the door and check if that's what you're askin', but there was a light on and judging from the shadows movin' around in there...they definitely weren't killing each other," he said with a laugh. "unless that's what the kids are callin' it these days."

"No way! I don't know whether to be super pumped or be super grossed out!" she said as she jumped up and down in excitement.

"Umm no...no way," she said with a big smile still on her face.

She filled Jimmy in on the conversation as he walked up to join them.

"Boom goes the dynamite" Jimmy said and high fived his sister.

Tracey frowned at him..."I don't even know what that means but ok."

"Finally! Maybe now the man can quit bein' so dang depressin to be around" Franklin said with a smile as he bumped Jimmy's fist. "I'm glad it all worked out dog. It's late man, Tavell and I are goin to head out."

"Alright bro, thanks for all your help" Jimmy said with a wave as he walked back into the house.

Tracey waved from the door as the car backed down the driveway and disappeared from sight.

"I can't believe we pulled this off" she said with a smile after their last guest had left.

"Me either and without Dad killing Trevor or Trevor killing Dad or Mom killing both of them or..."

"Alright Jimmy, I get the point."

"Night sis" Jimmy laughed as he walked into his room.

"Night Jimmy" she said before disappearing into her room and collapsing on her bed with a smile and sigh of happiness.

This had been the best birthday ever. Well...except for the fight with her Dad. She understood where he was coming from though. She had gotten her feelings hurt in the moment, but after having some time to think about it she realized how it must have looked to her parents. She was sure that he would try talking to her about it tomorrow and probably apologize. She would probably do the same. The best thing she could have gotten for a present was the gift of her parents getting back together. She knew they had a long road ahead and it wouldn't be smooth, but she had a good feeling about it this time. For the first time in a long time, everything felt right with the world.

******  
><strong>Well guys...that's a wrap! :) I seriously cannot say thank you enough for all of the amazing reviews you guys posted and the messages you sent! I really wasn't sure where I was going with this story or if it was even any good and if anyone would read it. You've been SO awesome and encouraging and I hope it ended on the note you were hoping for and that the ending didn't disappoint. Michael and Amanda's relationship is an interesting one and obviously one night wouldn't fix everything for them. That's why I ended it where I did. It ended on the note of them re-discovering each other and their love. The process of healing their relationship after that could go on and on and I just wanted to kind of leave that open with the obvious hint that they were getting back together and going to make it work. Thanks again for reading!<strong>  
><strong>**<strong>


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